Mike's Blog

Caption This!

2006-07-26T15:08:00.000-05:00

My entry:
A real life representation of the week I had last week.

Parking Ticket

2006-07-21T14:32:00.000-05:00

I just got a $30 parking ticket for parking on the sidewalk. Only there was no sidewalk. So how could I have parked on it? They might as well have put, "Parked on sidewalk and duck" on the ticket because there wasn't a
f%#king duck there either!

UPDATE:
I paid the ticket online. Yes, a weak moment, I know. But I knew if I didn't I would forget about it and after 15 days it goes up to 55 bucks! The nice lady who has the misfortune of answering the phone number on the back of the ticket told me that even if I intented to fight it I should still go ahead and pay it. That way in the event I score a devistating win against the city they can refund my money and I will not incur late penalties. So there is still hope of me sticking it to the man cause dammit there is no sidewalk there!

The Holiday Hangover

2005-12-27T23:02:00.000-06:00

Is anyone else feeling this? The sort of grogginess of waking up from too much Christmas cheer, or turkey. It always seems like there is so much buildup to Christmas that when it comes and goes it leaves you with a feeling of blah. I speculate that this stems from a complete and total refocus of what Christmas is really about. I didn't go to church this year around Christmas. In fact, I haven't gone to church much this year. Call it laziness, call it whatever, but it definitely makes me feel a bit adrift as a person. But not all the time and thats really the problem. My life gets filled up with all these side projects and hobbies and things that make us so "busy", that I tend to forget how centered I feel after a powerful message that hits me right between the eyes on Sunday morning. Something like that is good, especially during Christmas time. It allows me to see through the fog of consumerism to the real reason for Christmas. Don't get me wrong here. I love giving and receiving gifts, but they are not going to fill that empty spot inside. Neither will turkey.

...And then it was gone

2005-11-01T20:18:00.000-06:00

I wish I was saying that about the Inwood Theatre!

It all started with my new route home. Since its getting darker earlier I've decided to take an alternate route home from work. Have I mentioned that I hate that it is pitch black by the time I leave work?! So this alternate route takes me by a Walgreens (or as I call it "the Wall"). Since I didn't partake of any treat gathering Halloween expeditions I wanted to score some discounted individually wrapped treats from the Wall. I figured while I was there I would pick up a couple of other items which would keep me from having to make a trip to the grocery store. Turns out they didn't have what I wanted, but did have individually wrapped chocolately treats at discounted prices, so I partook.

So I figure I'll drop in to the local Tom Thumb and pick up the things I need. I should have noticed right away that something was awry when I was actually able to find a parking spot up front. I headed in and was immediately met with a sign that read, "STORE CLOSING, DEEP DISCOUNTS". WHAAAAT?! How is the store closing?! Every friggin time I've been there I am hip deep in people! There are always long lines at the registers! How is this happening?! I walked down the empty aisles hoping they would actually have the things I needed. No milk, no ziploc bags, no Fruity Pebbles (ok, I wasn't looking for Fruity Pebbles, but that was funny to type). The stuff they did have left was totally random though. Like 500 different types of olive oil, and Brita water pitcher filters and 40 packages of bacon and shiddy beer. It was like being in a bad grocery shopping dream. I turned up one aisle and there were 4 people, none of which were together, standing in front of about 7 boxes of varied types of crakers. I paused for a second before turning around. Half hoping to see one person grab all 7 boxes and get tackled by the other 3.

Everything was 20% off and I was about to find a couple of random items to buy, but I was still going to have to make another stop and I dreaded it. You see, there are only 2 other grocery stores around me. Once is a Whole Foods, which if you are into the whole health food, nuts and grains, vanilla yogart enema thing, its your place. But otherwise its only saving graces are the good selection of baked goods and the Jamba Juice inside.

The second, and more feasible option is the Kroger across the street from the now defunct Tom Thumb. This place is wrecked, filthy, and full of (how can I put this nicely? lets just say...) dirty people. This is the place where there are no parking spots because they are taken up by drug dealers pushing their crap out of their cars. Once you do manage to find a spot, its probably got a buggy in it. ARRRRGH!! And I just learned what was where in my Tom Thumb! I wandered the jam packed aisles of the Kroger looking for 3 items! My head was ready to explode. And this is one of those grocery stores that they built too small, so the aisles are too close together and you have to stand with your back to the other aisle to look at the shelves. If you've been in one you know what I'm talking about.

Once I found the items I was looking for I headed for the front. Every register that was open was 4 deep, the express lane had at least 6 people in it! Even the self checkout kiosks were backed up. I took a deep breathe and got in line for the self checkout. Now this is comedy! People get up to these things and turn retarded! They don't know when to scan, when to swipe their card. THE DAMN THING TALKS TO YOU! DO AS IT SAYS AND NO ONE GETS HURT!! I stood there for 5 minutes giggling to myself before it was my turn. Scan, scan, scan, scan, swipe, reciept, done! I ran to my car, threw my bag in the back and headed home.

The point to this long story? I'm driving to the Simon David on Inwood for my grocery needs!

Goodbye Inwood Theatre

2005-10-08T23:47:00.000-05:00

...it was not fun while it lasted. Ally and I saw our last movie ever at the Inwood Theatre tonight. You know, that kitchy, hip little neighborhood theatre in Inwood Village, with the bar in it and the staff with way too many tattoos and piercings? Yeah, that one.

Tonight we went to see the 9:40PM showing of History of Violence. But the problem wasn't the movie and frankly I prefer not to focus on that part of the bad experience. I would rather focus on the old dirty man that was getting jerked off in the row behind me by a girl a third his age. And if that wasn't enough, they decided while they weren't doing "other things" they would actually give us a running commentary of what they thought about EVERY FRIGGIN LINE OF THE MOVIE! KILL ME NOW! I am almost positive that there is a special circle of hell reserved for people who talk during movies. If there isn't there should be! Since when is it acceptable to a conversation in a normal speaking volume with another person during a movie?!

NEVER! NEVER EVER NEVER!

After enduring this for a third of the movie I turned around and said "Do you mind not talking during the movie?" The guy says to me "have a nice day!" What?!?! After that they actually did stop talking....FOR ABOUT 5 MINUTES!
(this is the sound of Mike's head exploding)
I gritted my teeth for the rest of the film and somehow managed to leave the theatre without killing someone. And by the way...if you are going to have a bar in your lobby...insulate the theatres so you don't have to hear a bunch of drunks screaming the whole movie. Just a tip. Actually, don't change a thing Inwood theatre. You just keep on doin it like ya do, cause I ain't comin back so I'll never know the damn difference. (yeah, i got all trailer park there for a minute)

But actually my faith in the goodness/purity/etc of humanity was restored (read: not really) when I stopped at the local Krogers to pick up a couple of pints of Blue Bell and saw someone peddling crack out of his pickup in the parking lot.

Where'd all the good people go?

Hump Day Update

2005-10-05T23:49:00.000-05:00

I can't believe people still read this blog. The comments were great on the Saturday update. Keep 'em coming.

So I'm back at the apartment after hanging out at Al's tonight. She made us delicious pot roast and muffins for our LOST watching party. I say party, but it was really just her, me and Kitty. Kitty was lucky enough to be able to hang with us tonight. Eventhough she is a little skittish and very needy when she visits other places its good for her to get out. I am hoping that once it starts to get cool again, we can start walking on a regular basis. And by walking I mean further than the small patch of grass by my apartment that we walk to everyday for her to do her biz...that is when she isn't exploding all over my bathroom. We'll be headed North of course, since South is a bit...well...umm...urban. Speaking of it getting cooler, that is supposed to happen for the first time, FOR REAL, tonight. The high tomorrow is supposed to be 66. I can't wait. Bring on the cooler weather because we've had more than our share of hot. I am sick of the meteor, meatyor, WEATHER PEOPLE saying we are 20 or 15 or 18 degrees above average for this time of year. "SCORCHED EARTH TO WEATHERGUY: WE GET IT, WE WERE JUST OUTSIDE TOO AND FELT OUR PARTS STICKING TOGETHER! CRYSTAL, THANKS!"

Speaking of the clever "earth to" phrase, I was listening to the radio this morning on the way to work and the DJs were doing this game where they act out an obscure scene to a movie and people have to call in and guess the movie. I've heard them do this before and most of the time I know the movie, but today they were doing the "Earth to Matilda" scene from Zoolander and I felt compelled to call in and try to win. I don't know if you've tried this lately, but I am pretty sure it's damn near IMPOSSIBLE! I have tried to call in and win crap on the radio dozens of times in my lifetime and have NEVER gotten through. NEVER!! Am I doing something wrong? Is there a special key sequence I am supposed to be entering that no one has been nice enough to clue me in to? If so, screw you guys for keeping me in the dark! The only time I have ever made it on a live radio show was about 3 years ago when I called in to the Ticket during the Cowboys Show and told them they should have picked up Drew Bledsoe. They laughed at me! Umm, excuse me Ticket dillholes (Dale Hansen especially, he should be crowned dillhole king), who is the starting quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys now? But enough about me being right...and seemingly clairvoyant. I'm going to bed.

Things I Learned on a Saturday Morning

2005-10-01T11:50:00.000-05:00

Things I Learned on a Saturday Morning...

1. When you wake up at 8am and you don't have to be up. GO BACK TO BED AFTER PEEING!
2. Do not take a shower before you have made plans for the day. Inevitably you will get sucked into laundry and cleaning your place and get funky again.
3. Fried Fair Food (or as I like to call it "The Triple F") will cure a chronic upset tum-tum.
4. Do not ignore your dog acting batshit crazy after feeding her several tortillas the night before. If you have the mistake of doing this, they will explode in a flurry of 1s and 2s all over your domicile.
5. No amount of Febreeze Air Effects Meadows & Rain will overpower the smell of dog 1s and 2s.
6. There is no good or easy way to clean up ankle deep dog pee. Paper towels have to picked up after being completely saturated and the "deep ridges" of Swiffer Dry Pads are not deep enough.
7. Zen focus and mind-over-matter are not effective in stopping the gag reflex while picking up no-so-solid dog numero dos.
8. Dogs forget a "NO NO, BAD DOG!" spanking in approximately 7 minutes or when a food wrapper is opened. Which ever comes first.
9. Swiffer Wet pads create dust balls in the corners that have to be manually picked up.
10. Rubber backed bath mats can launch your washing machine into orbit during the spin cycle. It may be necessary to rebalance the load at this point.
11. While holding the lid button down watching the load spin you run the risk of losing your finger if the washer begins to spin violently.
12. It is ALWAYS a bad idea to stabilize the center agregating pole of a washing machine with your hands during the spin cycle while manually holding down the lid button.
13. Washing machines spin FAST!
14. A sure fire way to see all the neighbors you've never seen in the 5 months you've lived in your complex is to take out your trash sweaty while wearing flip flops and gym shorts.
15. When you think of something for your grocery list, WRITE IT DOWN THEN, because when you sit down to make your list all you remember is milk.
16. Paying rent sucks.

Britney's Baby

2005-09-15T09:31:00.000-05:00

Britney Spears has her monkey baby. Truly a comedy goldmine! It just goes to show that with hard work (on your back), being totally classy (white trash), and finding the perfect man (to blow through all that is left of your earnings from all your lousy albums) anyone can chase their dreams and bring life (read: waste of) into this world.

I can just see it in a couple of months when all the money is gone and the Federline's are back in Humpurunkle, Louisiana. All the kids running around with permanant Kool-Aid mustaches...Britney preggo with her 4th...their Ferrari up on blocks in the yard. Ah, the simple life!

The insane, every-little-detail coverage has reached a new high (LOW) when I am forced to come out of the woodwork and make fun of it. We need to round up all the people in the world that were genuinely excited to hear the news of Britney's monkey being born, put them on a bus, and drive it off a cliff. This may seem harsh, but I assure you it will make the world a better place in the long run. Who am I kidding, IN THE SHORT RUN EVEN! Anyway, that's my two pennies.

Never Forget

2005-09-11T23:55:00.000-05:00

So I am back at blogger blogging. Everyone can think Mike Harrison who left me a comment after stumbling upon my blog. If it wasn't for him I might not have made it back to post an entry.

Al and I watched The Flight That Fought Back about United Flight 93 that went down in Pennsylvania on September 11th. If you guys missed it I strongly recommend trying to catch a rerun of it. They are bound to show it several more times. It really brings into perspective the lives that were lost and the courage of everyday people faced with adversity. It makes me analyze how I would react to something like that. Either dealing with it first hand like they did on the airplane or living with the loss of a loved one who was aboard.

The movie took me back to that day, complete with all it's emotions. Otherwise I think I would have gone through today like any other day. Sure I knew it was September 11th and just like every September 11th since, I thought about what happened four years ago and wondered if "they" would every try anything again on this day (or any day for that matter). But I was too lax today and I hadn't thought about the lives that were lost and the familes effected by the greatest American tragedy of my lifetime. So as the last minutes of September 11th wind down, I say a prayer for the men and women who paid the ultimate price 4 years ago and for their families who continue to suffer...may God instill peace in their hearts.

NEVER FORGET

More Tality

2005-07-08T10:03:00.000-05:00

Have you ever had days where you feel your mortality more than others?

I'm having one of those days today. After sleeping in a little too late I awoke to the tune of Linkin Park (my ringtone of choice at this point). It was my mom being very serious, very motherly, and telling me that she had to tell me something. You never tell someone you have to tell them something unless it is important, so my sleepy haze was wiped clean instantaneously. She started off saying, "I don't want to ruin your big weekend, but I want you to be careful this weekend and not drink a lot like you guys plan on doing." My weekend plans consist of jumping in the car with my brother and my cousin and booking it down to New Braunfels for a weekend of floating, drinking, and generally just barking at the moon. My mom continued with a warning that I may now have a kidney condition after my recent bout with gout (yeah it was bad, no I am not 70, yes that did rhyme). This brings me back to my overwelming feeling of mortality. Since last weekend I have been thinking about my health and life in general. Do I have a medical condition? Even if I don't, how can I change my life to live healthier? Why have I not enrolled in medical insurance yet? (Stoopid, stoopid, stoopid) How does cold fusion really work? Ok, so not the last one as much. I've always been one of those people that avoid doctors, medicine and anything that would make it seem as if I wasn't bangin-on-all-cylinders healthy. I am coming to realize that is not necessarily the best attitude to have about my health.

I think this all ties in to the sort of "wheels off" feeling I have had about my life lately. I think I was under the impression that once I graduated college, got my own place, a good job, etc I would be on easy street. The truth of the matter is things have been harder than ever before. I've been gliding along watching the scenery scream by with no real bearings. Where am I headed? What do I ultimately want to do with my life? How many more introspective questions will I ask myself in this post?

More Long Hours

2005-06-15T20:17:00.000-05:00

So I've been working more long hours this week. Last night I was at the office until 9 and tonight I was there til 7ish. I do have to say that I'm learning a ton and seriously developing my database skills. Chicks dig guys with skills. Lately by the time I get home it's dark, I'm tired and the last thing I want to do is type in this blog or even look at another computer. I'm hooked on GTA: San Andreas. It is quite possibly the most addicting game known to man. In fact, I think I will go play that...

The Return

2005-06-07T10:21:00.000-05:00

So I haven't blogged in forever. Sue me. I suck. Blah blah blah. Looking back at my last post makes me a little sad that I never gave the blow by blow of the move in and nesting phase, but then I got over it and remembered that people probably don't care anyway. So the long and the short is, I am settled into the new place, I have swanky leather furniture, some kitchy smart knickity knack decorative items, and loving every minute of it. Well there are those minutes every morning when the alarm goes off and I remember that I am not actually independantly wealthy and must go to work to pay the bills. Which brings me to the work topic. I am still really liking my job, however, it has been SUPER busy and I've been working some long hours. Why does that actually make me feel a little cool to say? Ehh, I'm sure it will pass.

Getting Closer

2005-04-28T08:51:00.000-05:00

It was another night of packing. That was, of course, after we watched the Lost recap show (ABC's sneaky attempt to hook even more viewers before the final 4 episodes of the season). If you haven't been watching Lost then you are missing out and that's all I'm sayin!

I successfully cleared out the miscellaneous crap out of my closet and divided it between boxes and trash bags. The night ended with me crumpled in the bottom of my empty closet. Lucky for me, Ally was there and convinced me to come out of the closet. Ha! My project for tonight is dragging all the boxes out of the side attic that I never got around to unpacking since it was kitchen stuff and figuring out how I am going to move my shoes and clothes. I will be the first one to admit that I have too many pairs of shoes. I mean, not like Ally's shoe problem, but I have a lot. Maybe I'll take this opportunity to get rid of some....nahh!

The Move

2005-04-27T10:03:00.000-05:00

Well this weekend is the big move. Al and I started packing boxes last night and man do I have a lot of junk. I did my best to cull it out and only take the essentials, but it was hard to leave behind some of it. We spent the weekend shopping for furniture which ended up being quite the beating. Fortunaltely for everyone involved it had a happy ending and I made a furniture purchase late Sunday night. In fact, they were closing the store when I was signing the papers and paying. Nothing like dropping serious coin on furniture to make you feel like an adult. Ally and I were discussing the fact that this is the first time I have actually paid for furniture. In my previous apartments and dormrooms the furniture was aquired by other means (hand-me-downs, parent's friend's old furniture, and even the curbside special on one occation). I actually really miss that curbside chair. I was a brown pleather recliner with black electrical tape on the seat and arms (done very nice of course). I was driving through my old neighborhood back when I lived in Houston and saw it sitting out on the curb for the trash pick up. I pulled up, popped the hatch and tossed it in the back of the old Explorer. The hilarous part was when I got home with it and lifted it over my head to put it in the garage like 4 dollars in change rained down on me. A bonus on a truly spectacular home furnishing find. It graced the living room of my first tiny apartment and was always covered with a blanket when I had people over (he didn't like to talk about his scars in front of company).

But enough about my old furniture! I am actually pretty excited about the new stuff I bought. I got a brown (real)leather couch, chair and ottoman. I also purchased quite possibly the coolest piece of furniture ever made. It is a coffee table that has a lift top which lifts and swings towards the couch. HOW COOL IS THAT?! Very cool indeed! After I saw it in the showroom it was only a matter of finding a couch to match it. The only catch to the whole furniture purchase was the wait for delivery. It is coming from "factory direct" for a far off place and wouldn't be delivered from three weeks. DOH! So for the first couple of weeks I will be sitting on the floor watching TV in the living room. I agree with Alisa that watching the boobtoob just isn't as much fun if you don't have some sort of sofa to drape your lifeless body across.

I try to keep you guys posted on the latest move news. I know everyone is glued to their monitors.

Jack Squat

2005-04-12T09:13:00.000-05:00

...that's exactly what I did when I got home yesterday. I walked in the door, sat down in my living room and played Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory for almost 3 hours. I only paused for dinner, the telephone ringing a hundred times and of course bathroom breaks. Why did my phone ring a hundred times you ask? Let's just say that Al had some problems with her smoke alarm in her apartment and she thought I might be able to remedy the fact that she is too short to reach it over the phone. It was beeping because the backup battery was low and it was driving her bonkers. I had a good chuckle picturing her trying to stand on a chair and it being juuuuuuust out of her reach, then swinging at it with a stick like a pinata until it came crashing down. She ended up tearing the thing out of the ceiling, but she got battery out and by all things holy IT WAS SILENCED! So much for a peaceful resolution. As Al said, that's what they get when they refuse to dispatch a maintanence man out to fix it.

Moving On

2005-04-11T15:19:00.000-05:00

So I put down my deposit for an apartment on Friday. I went over after work and filled out the beating of an application and then wrote them a check. I sat there for 20 minutes filling out this application only to give it to the leasing agent, Jack, and hear "Ohh, I just needed this top information here." "ARGH! I thought it was a little much, but I had just convinced myself that sperm count and shoe size were important pieces of information when leasing an apartment!" So that is all taken care of. My move in date is the 30th of this month, but Jack asked me to come back around the 20th and pick out my parking spot in the garage and iron out the last details before move in. The coolest thing about my new place is the location with respect to work and Ally. I am literally less than 5 minutes from work and could probably make it there faster if I hit all the lights right. It is going to be GREAT for my sanity to not have to fight horrendous traffic everyday back and forth to work. As for Al, I am just a quick run up the tollway and I'm there. It shall be the shiz!

I'm stoked to have my own place once again. It's been waaaaaay to long! The challenge for the next couple of weeks is to find furniture to decently fill up the place. Somehow I think I will be sitting on the floor watching TV at first. I'm also almost totally convinced that I won't have local phone service. I figure with my cell phone there is not really a need. I have a good enough plan with enough minutes that I don't need to pay an additional 20+ bucks a month to have another phone I never use. Especially since I plan on getting cable broadband. If I really see a need for a home phone then I might pony up for Vonage or a similar VOIP carrier. I've wanted to give it a spin for a while and this would be a good chance.

I've also been looking into satellite options since the complex is pre-wired with dishes. I figured out for 45 bucks a month I can get all the channels I regularly watch. I'm really gungho to get The Military Channel. A channel of nothing, but flexing the military muscle of the United States! HOW COOL IS THAT?!

Hello Again

2005-04-07T10:49:00.000-05:00

You know you haven't blogged in a long time when you start to type your own blog address in the address bar and it doesn't autocomplete it for you. I am surprised blogger.com didn't axe my blog. Looking at my last post it's will be a month ago tomorrow since I've posted. I figured since my blog pal Alisa started blogging again, I should probably get back on the horse too. Regardless of the fact I have now lost my whole blog audience.

My first month of work was great. Actually, I started back on Feb. 28th so its more than a month now. I really like my job and the people I work with. For the most part I stay busy with work, but there is also a good balance of downtime. I think that is the main difference from my previous job. Here when I have a break and don't have any pressing work I am able to relax, BS with coworkers, and surf a bit. At my previous job, if we had downtime and gave the slightest hint that we were not busy they would start to pile on extra crap that wasn't our job and certainly not enjoyable. That kept everyone from talking to each other or socializing which, in my opinion, fostered a very hostile environment. Another huge difference is the contrast between my bosses. At my previous job my boss was a totally ass. He was the type of boss that would put his name on your work and prance around like it was his. He was the typical stuffed shirt BS artist that would tell anyone anything to make himself look better. He thought he had everyone fooled, but the more people worked with him the more they figured out that he was full of it. The client would sidestep him and call me directly for answers which irked him to no end and gave me a constant laugh. He was the perfect example of how not to be in a managerial role. At my new job I have a great boss. He is in his 30s and hasn't forgot where he came from. He's an excellent, patient mentor that goes the distance to make sure I'm comfortable in my job. We go to lunch almost everyday with a group of two other guys and we have developed a friendship in addition to our good working relationship. We have a lot of the same interests which makes for a lot of good conversation. Our skill sets seem to compliment each other and it seems we are frequently teaching each other new things about hardware, software, life, etc. He is very well read and is constantly dropping the knowledge on me from all areas of study. I don't think I could ask for a cooler boss!

The other happenings in my life have been mostly focused around finding an apartment. Alison and I are both looking forward to me having my own place so we spent last weekend running around town looking at apartments and condos with a locator. In the past I've done all the legwork in finding my own apartments and had no problems, but I decided to branch out and give a locator a shot. She was able to narrow down the search in the particular area I was looking. The funniest thing about the whole search was the fact that the apartment I have all but decided on wasn't one she had suggested. It was actually an apartment I had seen on the internet which just happened to be right next to an apartment she took me to. I even fired up a little craigslist.com for the apartment search which is great if you are looking for no-strings-attached sex or cheap apartments in a bad part of town. Fortunately I am not interested in either at this point in my life. So I will probably end up making a decision this weekend, if not tomorrow, on a place. I will try to make a post once I make a move on something. I am hoping to be in a new place by the first part of May. We'll see how that goes.

The Give and Take of the 8 to 5

2005-03-08T13:03:00.000-06:00

I realized this morning that I love being able to drive to and from work wearing my sunglasses. A strange observation I realize, but favorable none the less. Besides the fact that I really love my sunglasses, the real reason is the time of day I am en route, to and fro. I am really diggin the 8 to 5 gig. At my previous job (daily beating) I worked a Sunday through Thursday 6am to 2pm schedule. Although I had rationalized it at the time, in hindsight it REALLY SUCKED! The 8 to 5 has a few drawbacks, but for the most part it is definitely a welcomed change. The traffic is the biggest drawback as it is 3x worse then what I would hit going to work at 6am. But then again, I'M NOT GOING TO WORK AT 6AM, so always a plus. And I have actually been very surprised at the lack of traffic after work. I usually leave here somewhere between 5 and 5:30 and the traffic is actually pretty bearable. There is the occasional snarl, wreck, etc, but in most cases it continues to move.

The other great advantage of the normal work schedule is the hour for lunch. At the previous job we had two short breaks which we were not allowed to combine for eating and whatever. Ahh the joys of having to rush to one of the many fast food joints close by and spend 3/4 of your break standing in line. Then having to scarf your food down, only to get massive indigestion and suffer with that for the rest of the day! YES, AWESOME! The first couple of days I went out for lunch I found myself rushing around. It was a very new concept for me to be able to relax and sit down to a nice meal. Alison and I went to Eatzi's last week and I caught myself checking my watch to see if I still had time to make it back. I had to delete that program and load the newest patch which allowed for the longer lunch cycles. I'm such a computer geek. Anyway, so many new things to get used to. But I am not complaining. Everyday lately is feeling like the first day of the rest of my life.

...and that feels pretty damn good!

The Office

2005-03-07T09:02:00.000-06:00

I think I've finally found the office chi I have been searching for. After several variations, several minutes of standing and staring, and even a dream(!) I'm pretty sure I have it laid out the way I want it. No, I'm not saying my office layout came to me in a dream or even that I believe in that chi crap, so just let it go. It was weird that I dreamed about my office though. I guess I'm still trying to get my brain around it.

Friday I packed the old college mini-fridge sitting in my garage in the Rover and brought it to work. My boss had given it the green light since we are on the other end of the building from the breakroom, snackroom and general food keeping areas. So before I left on Friday I set it up in my office. I stocked it with Red Bull, Orange Juice, ~~Vodka~~, and Arizona Green Tea. It was very nice to come in to a fully stocked fridge full of cold libations. Since I had the weekend to forget about doing it, it was almost as if someone else had done it for me. "Congrats on making the big time Mike! Here are three of your favorite drinks!" As far as I'm concerned, this was the finishing touch for my office. In fact, I had to move around a couple of pieces of furniture to accomodate it. Yeah, I have furniture in my office! It's crazy! I even have a door, which after they re-key it, I will be able to lock. For all of you with office envy, I feel your pain. I anguished in a cubicle for just under 3 years which was PLENTY long enough for me.

One funny thing about my office is the temperature. I am very interested in bringing my desk thermometer up here and getting an actual reading, but it's waaaay down there. Now anyone that knows me can attest to me NEVER being cold, but this is far beyond cold. The reason for this is my location. My office is right next to the server room which, uncooled could easily get up to 95 degrees with all the computers in there. So they have an A/C unit devoted solely to it, my office and a small closet office on the other side of the server room. In the mornings when I get here and open my door I am smacked in the face with an artic blast. I am constantly surprised that icicles aren't hanging from the vent. It's so cold that my nose runs. Yeah, COLD! Luckily, I wear a long sleeve dress shirt everyday and so I'm not sitting here shivering or anything. Although, there have been mornings I have sat at my desk with my coat on for the first 15 minutes to acclimate myself. I would MUCH rather it be cold than hot. So I am definitely not complaining. The irony of it all is many moons ago my office was a storage/breakroom so hanging above my door is a sign that reads "MICROWAVE IN USE." There is no way I'm taking that down!

Monday and I'm Not Mourning

2005-03-07T08:54:00.000-06:00

Ever since starting my new job I'm not filled with the dread of having to go to work like I was before. I'm genuinely excited to be embarking on my career in a new job. Lemme just tell you that this makes Monday mornings soooooo much easier to like your job. I'm hoping this lasts because it's really a good feeling.

She Left On A Jet Plane

2005-03-03T09:12:00.000-06:00

Well I am alone in the Big D for 10 days. Ally left for her Tour of Italy (the real thing, not the Olive Garden dish) yesterday. I have to admit that I already miss her. Usually she will call me while we are on the way to work in the morning and we always talk before we go to bed at night, but today makes two days of no calls. Being a creature of habit and routine, these are the things that really put the screws in you.

So I instituted a plan of preoccupation, which took effect last night. On the way home from work I called up my brother and cousin to invite them out for some Buffalo Wild Wings. Kev and his wife agreed to come out, but the cuz was a different story. Like a poonanny he had already made plans to have dinner with his trying-to-be-ex-girlfriend and her mother. SUCKER!

Kev and I swilled massive amounts of Shiner in order to put out the flames projecting from our months due to the oh-geez-these-little-wings-are-hot boneless wings. We started off with Caribbean Jerk and then moved on the downright HOT. We both agreed that while the Caribbean Jerk was extremely spicy, it was "a different kind of hot." By the time we got to the HOT our mouths were numb, our sinuses were clear, our eyes were watering, and odly enough my scalp was tingling. Keep in mind that this wasn't an experimental run. I order the same thing every time I go to BWW. I guess I enjoy the pain a bit in the process of eating really good boneless wings. As for Kev, I am not sure that he will partake of those mouth scorching sauces on his next visit.

The Struggle

2005-03-02T12:10:00.001-06:00

So when do you get to the point where you don't even have to acknowledge that you haven't posted in a really long time and you are a reeeeeealy bad blogger? I feel like I am reaching that point. All apologies to my loyal and becoming increasingly disloyal blog reading audience. Things have been a bit of a whirlwind for the last couple of weeks with starting a new job and leaving a crappy one behind. I can't say that I haven't had the time to blog because that would just be a lie. I just haven't felt inspired to blog anything as of late. Is that bad? I'm not sure. I've got a call into the blog helpdesk on that issue. We'll see what the professionals say.

A lot of times I go a long time without blogging not because I don't have anything to say, but I don't feel like it will be interesting/thought provoking/compelling/sad/etc. True or not, it totally demotivates and immobilizes my blogging machine. I need to just force myself to sit down and start writing. I know SOMETHING would have to come out. Then there's the whole quantity vs. quality struggle. Whateva!

My PGA Tour Credentials Came In The Mail Today

2005-02-23T02:30:00.000-06:00

So I figured it was time to swing the wrenches a bit. There is nothing more humbling than really sucking at something. Today was the day for my suck-star to shine. I dusted off the Caddyshack bag of garage sale clubs and headed for the driving range with the cuz. Let's get down to the brass tacks...my swing sucks. I liken it to the motion of an epileptic giraffe (if you can picture that). To be fair to myself I did send a couple of them whizzing in a somewhat straight-forward direction. But most of them ended up sending dirt farther than the actual ball and left my hands numb from the continual thump of hitting the ground. All in all it was a good time. I got outside on the warmest day of the season and sweated a little so I can't complain. Well, actually, I can complain a little because now my back hurts from using muscles I normally don't use while sitting in front of the TV or my computer.

Bad Blogger

2005-02-23T02:06:00.000-06:00

I know I haven't updated in a week and for that I am sorry. I realize that I left you guys hanging on all the tests and physicals and yadda yadda I had to do for my new job. The good news is that everything came back positive...uhh...good...uhh...favorable(?). With as much bodily fluids as I gave those people they are probably well on their way to cloning a superior race of Mikes that will some day rule the world! (cue the sinister music and evil laughing)

The P Test

2005-02-16T11:34:00.000-06:00

Work was pretty uneventful for most of the day. I mostly sat at my desk trying to look busy and plotting the perfect time to turn in my resignation letter. I didn't really know what I was waiting for until it happened. But when it did, the window was open and I dropped the bomb on them. My boss indicated that he would need to talk to the royal "them" about approving the week of accrued vacation I planned on taking for my last week of work. As of now I haven't heard anything back on that. Grrr!

I left working feeling aggravated and headed to the new job to drop off my paperwork and pick up the information about the drug test. When I got there I met with the President of the company who briefly interviewed me and then gave me the offer letter. Naturally I accepted and everyone was excited. They informed me that in addition to the drug test I would also need to take a physical. It would have been nice if they did it all in the same place, but the drug test and the physical were at different places. So on the way home I decided to take care of the drug test. One of the three location choices was right around the corner so I headed that way. After getting a little turned around from the crappy map I found the place. I walked up to the door and was greeted with a closed sign and a whiteboard that read, "Sorry for the inconvenience, but this location has been closed due to an unexpected FIRE." The following instructions directed me to another location across town.

I got there with plenty of time before they closed, but the waiting room was COMPLETELY full. I asked the receptionist how long this would take and she told me the test would only take a few minutes, but the wait would be over an hour. After an hour and a half they called me in where I took the stupidest test on a computer. Why was I taking a test on a computer you ask? Yeah I dunno! I just did what they told me to do. It was an aptitude test consisting of 50 questions, which were so easy that I read them over and over again looking for a trick or something I might be missing. There were even questions about the correct spelling of days of the week and months of the year. I was cracking up! After I finished the test they ushered me into a closet size bathroom where I had to fill a cup up to a line the guy drew on the container. Since I’d been holding it I had plenty to fill this cup. But the conflict was this…do I go straight off into the cup which presents the tough maneuver which involves stopping, pinching, setting down a cup of liquid that you don’t want on you, aiming and finishing? OR do I try to stop at an estimated halfway point, catch and gamble that I have enough to fill it to the line. I know you are thinking this is waaaay to much information and I’m making this waaaay to complicated, but these are tough decisions standing in a dimly lit, closet bathroom with a guy waiting right outside the door. I chose the first option and carefully filled it to the line. When I had finished I opened the door and handed my “sample” to the guy waiting. I was extremely careful not to slosh the contents on any of the involved parties. Before handing it over, I did make it a point to hold it up as if to toast my new job and winked at the receptionist standing in the hall. She laughed, but the sample-taker guy didn’t think it was funny. The cups actually have a thermometer on the side of them to measure the warmth of the dispensed “sample.” He then caps the sample and holds it up to eye level to check the temperate. At that very moment I felt strangely connected to this person. After all, he was gazing into my URINE like it was a ’63 Chardonnay. I could have sworn he was about to take a sip of it. Good thing the cap was already on it. I am not quite sure what I would do if a stranger took a swig of my urine. The whole process is JUST. NOT. NATURAL. After sealing, signing and authenticating my identity I was outta there….IN JUST UNDER TWO HOURS!

1 down, 1 to go.

Dodging Bullets

2005-02-16T10:56:00.000-06:00

Lately I've had some pretty interesting adventures. Yesterday started with getting pulled over by the police on the way to work. He clocked me at 57 in a 35. Whoops! He asked for my license and insurance then disappeared for about 5 minutes so I was sure I was getting a ticket. He came back with nothing, but my license and insurance in his hand and asked me why I was going so fast. I explained to him that I was late to work and didn't realize the speed limit was only 35. He then asked me for one good reason why I shouldn't get a ticket. I felt like a 5 year old pleading not to get spankings for hitting my brother. I went with the "I apologize for not obeying the posted speed limits and will slow down in the future." He took a long look at my license again and then said, "well you convinced me!" I am soooo glad this cop got some on Valentine's day!

Valentine's Day Recap

2005-02-16T09:11:00.000-06:00

It's the most romantic day of the year. Or at least that's what the card, flower, candy and jewelry peddlers want you to think. In a very unguy-like move, I ordered Ally's flowers online about a week ago and they were delivered promptly in the morning. YES! I also bought my mom 2 dozen yellow roses which I later found out means "friendship." Leave it to women to devise a code for the color of roses. A guy thinks he's doing good to get a girl beautiful roses and then he finds out the color means he wants to paint her garage. Whatever the code/colors meant, both Ally and my mom loved their flowers and smothered me with smooches.

Since Ally and I ran around crazy all weekend and had a very nice dinner on Friday night with Chuck and his...date, we decided to play it low key for the evening activities. We had planned ahead to make King Ranch Chicken (YUM!) and Al busted out with some awesome bean, corn, salsa dip for an appetizer. While the KRC was in the oven, she sprung another surprise on me. We were going to make homemade bon bons! Could such culinary debauchery be performed in the safety of one's own home?! I had my doubts, but I'm here to tell you that you can and should! The ingredients included crushed oreos, cream cheese, and almond bark. Basically we crushed a whole bag of oreos and then mixed them with cream cheese and rolled them into balls, then dipped our balls (ha!) in the almond bark. And by the way, almond bark is neither almond nor bark. They turned out great and were VERY rich.

After our excellent dinner we did something really romantic, but I really shouldn't talk about it. Do you wanna know? Okay just don't tell anyone else. We wrote my resignation letter. Whew! I know...hot action! Oh yeah and we also shopped on potterybarn.com! That was our red-hot Valentine's day and I loved every minute with my red-headed gal!

I GOT IT!

2005-02-15T08:26:00.000-06:00

So since my life is never without real life drama I have to share a pre-story to me actually getting the job, but yeah I GOT IT!! WHOOOHOOO!!

For the first interview I was really early since I left work at 2pm and the drive was only about 15mins tops. The interview was at 3pm and I didn't want to be waaaaay early, but I certainly didnt want to be late. So I drove around the area a bit and it definitely helped me relax. So this time I wanted to stay consistant so being early again I drove a round a bit. I was soooo relaxed and feeling the flow...until the car in front of me decided to come to a screetching halt at a green light. I was INCHES from plowing this little green Mazda that was at a dead stop. Here comes the best part, I honk, the guy flips ME off. Maybe on his planet that means, "sorry, I'm an idiot" and I'm convinced that green means stop on that planet too. NICE!

I get to the interview, heart pounding, adrenaline coursing through my veins and I am still 15 minutes early. I let the receptionist know I'm there and in turn notifies the proper authorities. No not the police. He shows up and we walk down the hall to a different conference room. Whoa this could be good or bad! We sit down and he tells me the job is mine! He goes on to say that after interviewing several candidates he just didn't get the same great feeling he got from our interview. He said he felt like I was the perfect person for the job and only hesistated to say that he was afraid that some of the more monotinous tasks we had discussed prior would make me less interested. I assured him that I was excited about the opportunities for career growth that we had discussed in the first interview and told him that I would look forward to being on the ground floor of the projects outlined ahead.

Since I hadn't filled out a formal application he sent me home with one and told me to bring it back Tuesday when he would have a formal offer letter waiting for me. He also mentioned that I would need to take a drug test and pass a government background check required since they do business with the government. I filled out the application to a "T" (application writers of the world, I plead to you, take Elementary out of the education section!) and I'm set to return it today and schedule my P test. I told Alison this morning that this day has a real first day of the rest of my life kind of feel to it. I can only imagine how my first day at my new job is going to feel. All the nervousness of meeting a thousand new people and trying to remember all their names. My new desk/cube/cardboard box that I will have all my stuff in/on. Man, I'm STOKED!

Thanks for all the support and well-wishes! You guys are great!

The 2nd Interview

2005-02-14T08:14:00.000-06:00

Today started off pretty frantic. I woke up suddenly to realize I had turned my alarm off and laid back down. I wouldn't have been so bad if the time showing on my clock was more than 10 minutes before I was supposed to be at work. DOH! So it was flight of the bumblebee around my house getting ready and shaving, which has to be one of my least favorite activities in the morning. Especially when I am in a hurry. One of the benefits of having an electric shaver is that you really have to try hard to cut open your jugular. Lucky me, right? To top it all off, I had to put on my half suit (suit pants and dress shirt) in anticipation of my interview after work today. More on that later. Ally was nice enough yesterday to iron and starch the new shirt we picked out this weekend so if nothing else, THAT will look snazzy. I grabbed my coat and tie and bolted out the door. I was finally on my way to work when I do the little pat-your-pockets-to-make-sure-you-got-everything maneuver and realize I don't have my cell phone! ARRRRGG! If I were a cartoon character I would have had steam coming out my ears and a giant exclamation mark hovering over my head. I whipped my car around and headed back home. I am now 20 minutes late. When I dart back into my house it was still pitch dark. I fell over a pet taxi, a laundry basket and even slipped down two stairs before regaining control of my ascension (dang slick dress shoes!). When I found my cell phone it was sitting right where I had left it on the charger. It looked up and said, "I knew you'd be back." Curse you technology that I can't live without!

I jumped back in the car after shaking the laundry basket free of my leg and raced to work. Have you ever had a morning where you get up early and you say to yourself, "I'm going to take it easy this morning? I'm gonna relax, have a cup of coffee and get dressed slow. I'm not going to speed on the way to work, I'm just gonna take it eaaassssy." Yeah me neither! But I am pretty sure ALL THE PEOPLE ON THE ROAD IN FRONT OF ME WERE IN THAT MINDSET! And they all wanted to drive in the fast lane. They wanted to just chill out and take it eeeaassy. While I am late, behind them and going out of my MIND!

So I get to work 30 minutes late. No one really seems to notice or care and I'm parked at my cube in Cubeville trying not to look conspicuous in my fancier than a normal Monday duds. Now the countdown begins to my interview. This will actually be my second interview with this company and I am once again in the try-not-to-get-excited phase. I don't want to get pumped up about it until it happens, but I am hoping they will make me an offer today. After all, they did tell me in the first interview that the second would be to meet the VP and make an offer, sooooooo. I have the joy of knowing this day will be lengthened by my anticipation. This definitely falls in the category of a try-not-to-get-excited violation, but I was thinking about how cool it would be to have an easy-to-remember, landmark date like Valentine's Day 2005 as the day I got hired to my first big shot, high paying, "I have arrived" kind of job. So everyone keep those fingers, toes, eyes, whatever crossed and send me good vibes at around 3PM CST.

Delurk Now!

2005-02-13T09:49:00.000-06:00

Ok people, your chance has come.

You've been surfing my blog for how long? And you haven't posted a single comment, interacted, or tasted the full Mike's Blog experience? Sad sad SAD. Come on, you know you are dying to give it a try. If for no other reason, do it to see the cool, new page for comments that Blogger just revamped. They added the original post in a easy-to-read format, the existing comments and other important information to help you make a funny, witty, snarky, dimwitted, or even downright hateful comment post.

So what are you waiting for? If you don't have a Blogger account then sign up for one. It takes 2 minutes and any moron could figure out it. Hit THIS LINK and do it now! After all, human interaction is what Al Gore intended when he invented the internet.

Surf. Delurk. Comment!

Impact

2005-02-13T09:17:00.000-06:00

Today I figured out that it is impossible to blog while Seinfeld is on. I popped in the Seinfeld Season 1 DVD and I am watching the pilot episode for background noise while trying to formulate/type a post and ITS. JUST. NOT. WORKING. Maybe it's because I have never seen this episode all the way through, but I kinda doubt it. I am pretty sure there is something about Seinfeld that blocks the blog synapses from the finger synapses. Maybe thats why I haven't updated in a week...yeah yeah...that's the ticket!

Things have been a little crazy over the past week, but then again if they weren't I think I'd be worried. It seems like the only time things ever slow down is right before something big hits and that is almost never the good big something. Most of my free time over the course of the week was spent looking for a job or hanging out with Al. I did end up making a day trip on Wednesday to a little town outside of Tyler, Texas for a funeralfor my uncle Bill. So my family, Ally and I all drove up for the day. It was a great service, probably one of the best funerals I have ever been to. I know that sounds really wierd...believe me that it was wierd to type. But it was a celebration of his life and his legacy more so than most funerals I can remember. One of the best parts of the service was when the Pastor opened up the pulpit to allow anyone to share their thoughts/feelings/etc. Some were long, some were short, but they were all heart-felt and sincere. For me, funerals always get me thinking about the legacy I will leave and the life I am leading on a daily basis. I think it reminds you that, as corny as it sounds, it's never to late to start having an impact on the people around you. Whether it's by your interactions with them or the impact you have by living your life in a way that they would want to model themselves after you. Striving to be a role model, in my opinion, is one of the strongest driving forces out there. So I move on with that in mind.

The unSuper Bowl

2005-02-07T09:15:00.000-06:00

I woke up from my nap just in time to catch the start of the second quarter. I attempted to watch the pre-game show and festivities, but the repetition of Timmy, Terry, Howie and Jimmy (and Huey, Duey and Luey?) commentary lulled me right to sleep. As I repeated yesterday and several days leading up to the game, this was the first time I can ever remember being completely unexcited to watch the Super Bowl. In recent years I haven't cared for the teams competing, but I watched because it was the second to last game of the season, for the commercials and overall just because it was football. But this year was different. My TWO LEAST FAVORITE teams playing, ~~the washed up Beatle~~ Paul McCartney performing at half-time, and all the media hype about the intended tameness of this year's big game was enough to force me to put it on the back burner. Granted, I did watch the game, but I didn't 1) drink beer, 2) root for either team, or 3) go out of my way to make elaborate plans to unite as many people in one place to watch (as I was accustom to in years past).

In recap:
It was nice to see Philly get donkey punched at the end, even if it was by the Beantown Ballers. The Turdbirds remain the only team in the NFC East without a Super Bowl win...Eat that! The commercials were ok. The halftime show SUCKED and Amy Poehler lied to us about McCartney whipping out his dong (actually that's probably a good thing).

Go Cowboys!!

Punxsutawney Phil

2005-02-02T09:40:00.000-06:00

Well, it looks like 6 more weeks of winter. Wait! What am I talking about?! Is anyone else just a little concerned that, even with all the technology available to us, we are still using this marmot for forecasting? We can put remote control vehicles on Mars, but we are still depending on wildlife for weather reports? I checked the TV schedule for tonight and surprisingly Groundhog Day isn't going to be on! WTF?! For as long as I can remember they have aired this movie on February 2nd. "This is Nancy Taylor, she makes sounds like a chipmunk when she gets really excited."

And if you haven't been to PunxsutawneyPhil.com yet, you've got to check it out! Someone has waaaaay too much time on their hands.

Homeland Insecurity

2005-02-02T08:45:00.000-06:00

Since I refuse to pay Microsoft for a premium account my hotmail has become almost unusable. The amount of spam I recieve is really quite amazing. Now if I upgrade my account they will offer "better spam protection", but I'm not giving in. Microsoft is probably paying these spammers to spend crap to my account in hopes of driving me to the brink. Every once in a while though, the spam subject lines catch my attention. The latest one that caught my eye was from "YOU CAN BE A COP" with the subject line "Homeland Security is xEVERYONE'Sx Job." The email wasn't text based or I would have pasted it in here. The highlights to this great advertisement read as follows:

"Investigate a rewarding career...Get your Criminal Justice degree FAST! Programs include National Security, Law Enforcement, Terrorism, and Criminal Investigation."

It's a little disturbing that places are fast-tracking people through degrees so they can protect our country. I know I'm going to sleep better at night knowing that people with bargain basement, receive-it-in-the-mail "Criminal Justice" degrees are standing watch. So I decided I would get out there and make a difference! I would get my Criminal Justice degree in order to protect our nation. Well, until I clicked on the next email down. They were offering me "$500 to $10,000 to work from home" so I think I'm gonna do that. Sorry Homeland Security.

Lemon Lime Roulette

2005-02-02T08:05:00.000-06:00

I started limiting myself to one soft drink per day and since I normally forget to bring one from home I am forced to buy one out of the machine here at work. We actually have two machines in our break room and they are stocked with crap that no one drinks. I am convinced the vending company comes by our location last and fills our machines with all the beverages that no one is drinking at all the other sites they service. We are chock full of Diet Mug Rootbeer(who drinks diet rootbeer?!), Sprite BERRY (carbonated berry bull semen wha?), and several other nasty selections that you would only see at a church picnic where everyone buys the cheapest thing they can find to bring. The best part about the whole thing is the fact that for months we didn't have REGULAR SPRITE. We had this other malformation mentioned above, but not the normal lemony lime goodness that is plain jane Sprite. I kept putting PostIt notes on the machine pleading for the company to bring us REGULAR SPRITE, but alas nothing...or so I thought! I was in the break room one day shootin the breeze while my lunch heated up in one of our lousy microwaves (dont even get me started on those) and I happened to mention to one of my coworkers that I wished they would put Sprite in our machines. In a smug little tone he said, "Oh you don't know about it. They put Sprite in there like 6 months ago. It's on the Sierra Mist button." This whole time I'd been lusting after a 35 cent lemony limey libation and it was right under my nose. But they refuse to change the button, so it still says Sierra Mist and if you have ever tried it, oh it's nasty. I once mistook it for Sprite at a Taco Bell (back when I was eating fast food) and nearly projectile yacked my Baja Beef Gordita. So I play Russian Roulette every time I go to buy a Sprite.

"Will it be Sierra Mist?"
"I don't know man!"
"You push the button!"
"No way man this soda is for you...I'm not getting involved!"
"I'm scared! Hold me."

Blasted vending machine company! (that shall remain nameless for fear of them taking away my favorite pretzels from the snack machine)

I know I know, this post sucked. But if I reach just one person...It was all worth it.

When Good Restaurants Go Bad

2005-01-27T10:03:00.000-06:00

So after hanging out with February's Playmate of the Month last night, Chuck and I met Ally for dinner at the Greenville Bar and Grill. I would provide a link to their web site, but it doesn't appear to exist...and the lousiness begins. Alison and I started going here over a year ago when we discovered they run a half price menu on Monday and Tuesday nights. The food was great and for under 20 bucks we could come out of there with full belly and a smile. We even took friends there which is the true sign of Mike's Restaurant Recommendability(!=word) Stamp of Approval.

The first thing I notice was they changed their whole wait staff. No familiar faces. Instead of the perky, cute waitress they had before with their sleek black attire they now have dumpy, unsmart girls in jeans and t-shirts. As soon as we arrived, I headed for the bathroom where I was knocked down by a stench that seemingly erupts from the depths of Hell! I'm referring to a smell that delivers a drop kick when you open the door and then continues to pummel your nasal passages for the duration. A smell you fear has permeated your very being and no amount of cleansing will ever rid you of the stank! You get my point. Clean the bathrooms!

According to the Guidelive, they are "revamping; word is it's moving toward a live-music emphasis. This was evident by the stage they built in the prime WALKING AREA toward the back of the restaurant and the cheesey Bud Light pennent stringers they hung up around the main dining room. The best part was when I fed a dollar into the digital jukebox they put in. The first song I played was "Hell's Bells" from AC/DC and I cued up "Say It Ain't So" from Weezer. After "Hell's Bells" played the dumb, dumpy waitresses decided they would go over and start jacking with it. First they turned it up and then they overrode my song! The song I payed money for...it was only 50 cents, but still!

The nail in the coffin was driven home when our food arrived. I was a little disturbed at the soggy, seemingly wet condition of my chicken fried steak. What was once a crispy, fill-the-plate, tasty steak was now reduced to a brownish sponge covered in runny gravy. What were once fresh green beans were now the out-of-a-can-variety crap. Also, the mashed potatoes, which ended up with on everyone’s plate, were cold. BAH! In all fairness, the Mini-Cheeseburgers they are somewhat famous for were tasty half-priced appetizers, but since I've never had them before I had no frame of reference to their possible decline. Who knows, they could have been STELLAR before! Sad. Sad. Sad!

To conclude, I am saddened by the unfortunate decline. This was one of our favorite haunts and I hate to wipe it off the list. So I bid you farewell Greenville Bar and Grill.

On a related Greenville decline note: Mike's Treehouse is no more. Although I had mixed experiences there, it was overall a pretty cool place grab a brew and watch the scenery go by. I am quickly running out of reasons to frequent this area.

UPDATE: Interview

2005-01-27T08:01:00.000-06:00

I have an interview today thanks to Ally. She forwarded on my resume and salary requirements to one of her business contacts who mentioned in passing that his company was hiring an IT Manager. Luckily she knew just the person who was looking for a job and had outstanding job experience. Another testament to the old phase "It's not what you know, but who you know."After playing phone tag briefly we connected and he gave me a run down of the job. Basically he is the Systems Administrator for this company who has now outgrown the one IT guy phase and he needs help. He mentioned that he is not even convinced that two people will cut it at the rate they are growing. I am pretty sure the IT Manager title was a little off from what they actually need and might have been a little distorted in the relay. Regardless, my resume and experience seem to be a great fit for the job if it is indeed another Systems Admin position and they can meet my salary requirements. While we are on the subject, the whole salary thing is quite interesting to think about. My thought process is this...I graduated college with a degree in Management Information Systems, I have TONS more job experience than most undergrads, and I've put in over two years at a Fortune 500 solutions provider. So I am justified in wanting to double my salary right out of the box? I think so.

I feel a bit like a double agent at this point as I look for another job. I am constantly checking my home email for followups and job posting alerts. And today I am definitely dressed up for my after-work interview. Normally everyone is about the slacks/khakis, button-up/polo shirt, business caz shoes, but today I am black suit pants (jacket and tie in the car), dress shirt, and dress shoes. The common joke when anyone comes in noticably overdressed is "job interview?". But I haven't made it a secret with my co-workers or boss that I am looking elsewhere and they understand the ceiling we all face at my "no room for growth" division. On that point, I have been very unpleased with the response (ZERO) I am receiving from our internal recruiters. I have sent them emails about specific positions, my resume, applied for positions through the internal posting channels and I get NOTHING! Way to nurture your investment in your people. When Fortune does an article about me in 10 years they are going to look at each other and say "We had that guy and let him go. We are idiots!"

So wish me luck in the interview. Maybe they will hire me on the spot and give me a signing bonus up front. If that is the case, guess who's looking for an apartment this weekend? Seriously though, send me good vibes people!

UPDATE: The interview went great and they are looking to hire soon! He told me they would make a decision by Friday and he would call me either way. Everyone keep your fingers and toes crossed. Show me the money!

Fast Food No More

2005-01-26T11:25:00.000-06:00

The time was roughly 9:00pm Monday night when I decided I would never eat fast food again. I sat there with a blown mind after watching Super Size Me. If you are not familiar with the movie the basis according to IMDB is this: "For 30 days he can't eat or drink anything that isn't on McDonald's menu; he must wolf three squares a day; he must consume everything on the menu at least once and supersize his meal if asked." I won't ruin the movie anymore for you, but the results are pretty staggering.

Lately I have contemplated my weight, overall health and this was just the motivation I needed to kick my unhealthy eating habits. Because of my overall laziness when it comes to taking lunches, I eat fast food several times a week. This has got to stop. It's just too easy to leave the office and drive a couple of blocks to Taco Bell/Pizza Hut, Wendy's, Burger King, Jack In The Box, and the dreaded Mickey D's. ALL OF THESE are within a 5 block radius from my building! So Ally and I have agreed to cut it completely out of our diets (she never ate much to begin with, cheater!). I am going to start buying things from the grocery store to make sandwiches and bringing lunches on daily basis when I don't have leftovers from dinner. We have also agreed to make dinner at home more often when I am over and not eat out as much on the weekends.

I know these declarations reek of new year's resolutions that will be forgotten in a month, but something has got to change. I am the heaviest I have ever been right now and I am unhappy with my appearance/health. My high school football coaches would have killed for me to be this heavy my Junior and Senior year. Another serious concern is my risk for high blood pressure, which runs in my family. I know that this doesn't account for the physically activity I will also need to engage in to get in better shape, but let's take things slowly here. I will remedy that soon enough.

A re-occurring theme I keep hearing is at my age, the choices I make now will effect me for the rest of my life. The rest of my life started Monday!

Groomsmen Antics

2005-01-24T09:24:00.000-06:00

In following with family tradition for my brother's fiance, the bride-to-be is serenaded by mariachis the night before the wedding. Kev looked into getting real mariachis, but the cost per hour was outrageous (especially for us gringos)! So we improvised and formed our own mariachi band. We were...
¡The Five Amigos!

We belted out such Spanish favorites as "The Frito Bandito", "La Cucaracha", and the timeless mariachi hit "Baby Got Back." Keep in mind it was midnight in an apartment complex. After the border patrol (aka Courtesy Officer) showed up we all piled in one car and made like Speedy Gonzales for the nearest taqueria. Let no one say that we don't keep it El Real.

So Much Soul

2005-01-23T23:56:00.000-06:00

Here are some pictures taken prior to the ceremony with my cousin Chuck and I. In one of these we are in the middle of a soulful rendition of "Wind Beneath My Wings" and in the other we are spicing it up with a jazzy
version of "Livin On A Prayer." They were both huge hits! Especially with the ladies!

After The Wedding

2005-01-23T10:12:00.000-06:00

My little brother tied the knot last night. The ceremony was great and everything (for the most part) went off without a hitch (well except for them getting hitched. Sorry I couldn't resist). But everyone knows what the best part of the wedding is...and what it's NOT! It is not 1) getting yelled at for trying to be at the church on time, 2) seeing your mom in extreme panic mode digging through the trash looking for a flower girl halo or 3) having people sitting in your living room when you get up the morning of the wedding after being out till 3AM looking at you as if you are supposed to entertain them. The best part is the PARTY afterwards! My party machine was running on pure alcohol and lemme tell ya the tank was full. By the end of the night the bartender would see me coming from across the room and have my Sapphire and Seven waiting...and talk about long pours. Yowza!

We started drinking almost as soon as we got to the chapel yesterday. Now I am sure you are thinking, "Liquor? In the chapel?. But this place wasn't exactly a church. It was more like a super fancy wedding chapel with a large party room and bar. So it was safe for whoever was interested in taking the edge off with an adult beverage before the ceremony. And boy did we take the edge off. Actually I don't even remember the edge or when it was actually off. I am very thankful for the large glass of water I drank before we started drinking at about 3:30pm. Without it, I might have been face down on the stage during the vows. That would have upset a few people I think.

I hung that 3rd sheet with the first drink of the reception. I remember sitting at the head table and thinking, "I don't remember reading in the brochure that the room spins slowly." I accidently splashed a little on the head table and it ate right through and was halfway through the carpet below when I threw my napkin over it! And forget about dancing anywhere near the candles that were burning! Poof! "Hey, you remember when Mike combusted a his little bro's wedding? That. Was. AWESOME! Man I really miss that guy."

As usual everyone was slow to get out on the dance floor, but as soon as the liquid courage kicked in everyone was shaking their groove thang. I am really hoping that the photographer didn't get any shots of me 1)doing the chicken dance, 2)"riding the bronco" or 3)rapping to Ice Ice Baby. There was also a special request by Kev for my ever popular and truly timeless version of "Elvira" from The Oak Ridge Boys. "Giddyuppa ummboppa ummboppa moww moww." I reluctantly obliged as the bride drug me onto the dance floor. After much booty shakin by all we sent the newlyweds off in style with a barrage of bubbles on the way to the limo and they rode off into the darkness to get bizzay! HA!

I'll conclude with a few things I've learned/realized/whatever about weddings:
1) People furrreak out for no reason at the drop of a hat.
2) You will get yelled at regardless.
3) Don't look at your mom during the ceremony if you don't want to get emotional.
4) Ally has this wedding thing down to a science...and she makes a hot bridesmaid!
5) Tuxes don't breathe well.
6) I missed seeing my "lil sis" and regret not keeping in better touch.
7) Having to work the day after sucks!
8) Waiting for the ceremony to start can be nerve-racking, even when it's not you walking the plank.

...But No Cigar

2005-01-20T13:31:00.000-06:00

Kerry looks on from the loser's seat. This is as close as I care to see old Droopy on Inauguration Day.

Oow! My hipass!

2005-01-20T10:28:00.000-06:00

I just got off the phone will Ally who called to find out how my morning was going and inform me that she just fell down the stairs at work. Before you panic, she is ok and expected to make a full recovery. Apparently her high heel caught the stair and sent her tumbling (in a dress no less). Luckily for her, Nat was there to belt out a scream for dramatic effect. According to Al, her ankle is really sore and she’s positive she will have a bruise on her “hipass.” Yes, that was the word she used and no, there isn’t a space in there. I liken it to “gluteside” or “pelvibutt.” I couldn’t help but laugh a little after I found out that she was going to be ok and I promised to give her sore hipass some attention tonight. I asked her if she had any clothing damage, which invariably happens with a workday spill, but she said everything seemed to be in order. I just hope she isn't walking around all day with her boody hangin out. Maybe this “death defying roll/slide down the stairs” will give her just the inspiration she needed to jump-start her career as a stuntwoman.

UPDATE: The adrenaline has worn off and the ankle is really hurting. Poor baby. Looks like I have my work cut out for me tonight. I guess I’m going to have to dig out my nurse’s outfit.

Viva Lost Wages

2005-01-18T11:10:00.000-06:00

Well I'm back to the grind after spending the weekend in Vegas. It is actually nice to be back on home turf, but I was really kicking myself for not taking Monday off. Going back to work the next day was a real kick in the junk. I am still recovering from jetlag and the time difference shuffle, so if I doze off during the post I apologize. Not too much to report from the Vegas trip. You know the mantra guys..."What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." Here's a brief overview and I plan on posting pics later.

Highlights:
-Boarding group A every time!
-Finally took some pictures of Vegas with the digicam (stay tuned)
-The Palms casino was cool
-Liquor store inside Excalibur
-Wasn't @ work
-Met some cool Texans in Mandalay with an art gallery in Austin

Lowlights:
-Ye Ole Excalibur buffet
-The Rhino wasn't as minty as we hoped
-MIA cocktail waitresses
-Ended up in the red at the tables
-A Blister despite my running shoes
-MP3 player failed weekend test
-Rain @ Palms (cool club, dumb people)
-Smelly, combative cabbies (yes Chuck, we should have rented a car)

All and all it was a good time with a few minor hiccups. By the time my bachelor party rolls around I will have this down to a science.

The Perfect Gift For...Cat Lovers

2005-01-10T23:46:00.000-06:00

This week's installment of "The Pefect Gift For..." brings us a great product for Cat Lovers! Are you tired of looking at your plain ole cat? Have you been searching for a way to spice up your feline's look? Well look no further than Catprin! Choose from "Costume-Play Packages" like Chick, Frog, or even Leopard's Shawl if you're feeling really saucy. You can also choose from their selection of "Blouses & Shirts" which include the Lady Package, the Gentlemen's Package and even the High-School Girl Package...meeouch!!

"CATPRIN, a tailor for cats. Ever imagined dressing up your lovely cat into a fabulous beauty? You don't have to dress her everyday, in fact she might not feel comfortable with a dress on for days. Just dress her up only on special occasions like her birthday, takes a photo and that should leave you lots of memories and fantasies."

Words can't even describe the hilarity of this site. I am not a big cat fan, but somehow we always had a cat growing up. One time Kevin and I decided it would be funny to shave our cat's tail and leave a little puff at the end. Let's just say that cats can hold a grudge. I would not recommend putting one of these outfits on your cat. It might just decide to regard your gaping maw as it's new litter box at 4AM.

I Might Just Make It

2005-01-10T07:25:00.000-06:00

I might just be on the road to recovery. Last night was the first time in what seems like forever that I was able to breathe through my nose. I decided the 2 caplet recommendation of Sudafed Severe Cold was not for me so I upped the dose to 3 (Don't try this at home kids...). That also pushed me over the recommended maximum dosage for a 24 hour period (...I'm livin' on the edge!). Besides a few minor facial ticks and my back itching like crazy, there seemed to be no adverse effects. My sinuses finally started draining last night and I slept like a baby. Well there was the dream where I robbed Betty White with a toilet brush. "Don't think I won't smear ya!" Dang Sudafed making me commit violent crimes against the Golden Girls. The only symptoms that still linger are my minor cough (which is productive), a small case of the sniffles, and a left side sinus cavity that throbs with every breath. It feels like I got punched right under my eye. I hope these are signs of better times. I appreciate all the outpouring of support I've received in the way of well-wishing cards, letter, flowers, balloons, candy, and whoever painted "SAVE MIKE" on the water tower, that was really cool! You guys are such good blog fans!

Being Sick

2005-01-09T07:21:00.000-06:00

It should come as no surprise that I am sick. I've actually been sick since Wednesday/Thursdayish, but I have progressively gotten worse and hit an all time low this weekend. It started out with a sore throat and then turned into a death rattle cough with full-on sinus congestion. Luckily I had Friday off so I basically sat at home all day coughing, sneezing and snoting while I finished updating my resume. Thank the lord for Chloraseptic. It has helped me keep my cough under semi-control and provided a welcomed overall numbness of my oral regions. The lowest of low points came Friday night after waking up every two hours with my head pounding from sinus pressure and coughing like crazy. That was hands down the worst night of sleep I have had in years. All this is very strange to me considering I never used to get sick. I am talking NEVER! Maybe it's my lack of vitamin C or the fact that I am outta shape. Or maybe it's because I work on a floor where everyone comes to work and coughs all over each other until we are all struck down. Whatever the cause, I am sick of being sick. I have no patience for sinus congestion. Especially when your nose thinks it would be a funny trick to alternate which nostril is plugged up on an hourly basis. Currently I have 0% blockage of the right and around 75% blockage of the left. Wait 10 minutes and it will be different though. Al and I picked up some Sudafed Severe Cold last night and it has helped a bit with the sinus pressure, but I am afraid this isn't going to do the trick. Stand by to see if I pull through.

Three Year Anniversary

2005-01-05T10:41:00.000-06:00

Today marks 3 years Alison and I have been together. It all started with a perfect first date at the Cheesecake Factory and the rest is history. We sort of agreed that our big New Year's Eve trip would count as our anniversary celebration, but I was a little miffed when I realized she had made plans for a get-together at her house tonight that seemingly only included me as an after-thought. It would include her two friends from her previous job that she never sees anymore who have a way of making her feel really guilty for not getting together regularly. Since I feel a little fifth wheel about the whole situation I opted out. I was further miffed to realize that she didn't even remember the date. I know guys aren't really supposed to remember dates for things like this, but what can I say...I'm a real catch!

We had a conversation about it last night and I insisted that she not cancel with her friends...especially since she would catch never-ending grief about it. And I accept partial responsibility for not expressing interest in doing something when she told me on Monday that she had planned the soirée. But I am a little dissapointed that this wasn't in her mind like it was mine this week. Further miffage (ok stop saying miff or any form of it) was experienced when I found out they had planned something, but had no exact time nailed down. I don't know which would be worse...having rock solid plans for tonight or the fact that they have loosey-goosey-just-whenever plans that still mess us up. Today she is back on the "lemme cancel it" kick and I'm not having it. On general principle I will not let her cancel it and I will also not attend. Oh the quandary. So tonight I will be celebrating at home watching the return of Lost and Alias. Jennifer Garner is almost as hot, but damn those restraining orders!

UPDATE: Before Ally even read the post she called to tell me that their activity had crumbled. Hmm...with all the good vibes I was sending that way I am very surprised (*evil laugh*). I told her that I would attempt to clear my calender tonight and get back to her. Considering its going to be 28 and raining tonight I doubt we will go out. Probably just a quiet night at home watching...yeah you guessed it...Lost and Alias. At least we'll be together.

Transcripts!

2005-01-04T13:39:00.000-06:00

So I sat at my desk thinking about it all day yesterday. I even made a call to TCC and UTA to make sure the Registrar people were going to be in to dole out and accept my transcripts to OFFICIALLY FUFILL MY GRADUATION REQUIREMENTS AT UTA. I even specifically asked the person I managed to get on the phone at TCC where I needed to pick up the transcript and she told me "The campus you attended." So after work I got in my car and instinctively headed home. I only realized my error when I was over committed to getting on the wrong highway, going the wrong direction. I think I even said aloud, "Mike, you are a moron" as I took the next exit and fought my way over to the right highway, going the right direction. It was still raining and people were driving like idiots. It was all I could do to stay calm as traffic came to a screeching (yes, literally) halt for no apparent reason. I finally made it over to TCC which is, according to a map, 19.5 miles door-to-door and it took me almost an hour. But I was fine...I was happy to finally be getting this done and proud of the fact I was making myself get it done regardless of the hassle.

I pull into the parking lot and notice an inordinate amount of vehicles there. Hmmm...must be like a teacher/administrator meeting or something today. I park and walk up to the building. I open the door only to realize all those cars were driven by people going to the exact same place as me. Ding...first day back for the registrar people...tomorrow is the first day of spring registration. DOH! Still...I'm calm, getting it done, yes! I get in a line that is by rough estimates probably 25 people long, but figuring that some of them are parents making sure their numbnut kids get registered for school I figured it wouldn't be bad. I was only last in line briefly until a guy in torn shorts and flip flops strolled up and inquired "is this the line for Dave Matthews Band tickets...duuuh?"

So I stand there for 30 minutes with TeenybopUSA yacking on her cell phone in front of me for THE WHOLE TIME about what...like oh my gawd...she was doing for spring break...and like...oh my gawd Brad is soooo mad a Chrissy...but like I told him...whatever! God kill me now. I entertained myself by counting how many times she said "like" in a sentence. So I FINALLY get to the counter where the registrar monkeys are and tell them I need a sealed official transcript to take to UTA. She says, "umm do you mean, like official?" "Yes, that's what I just said." (And I know that because I was standing there when I said it!) "Ok, you are going to have to go to this address" she says as she hands me a piece of paper with an address for a building in downtown Fort Worth. I can feel the big vein in my forehead bulging to capacity as I thank her through gritted teeth. Not her fault...I'm ok...getting it done...yes! As I walk away she says, "oh and they close at 4pm!"

BANG! The vein explodes, people are drenched, and I start taking hostages! No no no, that's old Mike...the 2005 model is muuuuuch calmer. So I rush to my car and get Al on the phone. I asked her to pull up MSN and get me a map to this address, but for some reason it was taking forever. She inquired about the situation so I unloaded the rant. As usual her soft response was, "baby I'm sorry, that's frustrating." I hung up with her and called my brother. He was at work and in front of his computer so he whipped up the instructions and I was on the road again speeding towards Fort Worth. I made it to the special transcript keeper building with time to spare and got my seal, official copy.

Now it was time to bomb over to UTA to get it to the graduation people before they closed at 5pm. Man this is really long. Long story long, I made it there and hand delivered it to one of the nicest, personable people I've ever met at UTA. I say this because most of the teachers, administrators, secretaries, and everyone else employed by UTA are a bunch of freakin morons! She announced that I had OFFICIALLY FUFILL[ed] MY GRADUATION REQUIREMENTS AT UTA and I would be receiving my diploma in the mail at the end of the month! WHOOOHOOOO! I was so happy I rushed over to give them some more of my money at the UTA bookstore. I looked through their alumni swag which really sucked and ended up just buying a shirt with the school seal on it. I'm a dork.

The point of the store is this...I had to go through ALL THIS to deliver a stupid envelope to a Texas college with a piece of paper in it that showed that I received credit for a class I took at another Texas college! How about we put information on a secure computer thingy somewhere on the interweb and other computer thingies at other colleges can transfer data stuff to and fro?!

The Perfect Gift For...Lovers

2005-01-03T18:59:00.000-06:00

Yeah yeah...its my 3rd post of the day. I am bored and unbusy. Everyone is done with their holiday shopping and probably could do without the mall for a couple of months, but what couple can be without these?Smittens!

I created the idea of Smittens while on a romantic walk with my husband. We were trying to hold hands through our bulky mittens, when it dawned on me to create a mitten that was large enough for both our hands. That way, I thought, we could truly hold hands.

I snarfed Ozarka when the page loaded. This has got to take the cake for the most hilarious, cheesy invention of all time.

Where's My SARS Mask?

2005-01-03T13:04:00.000-06:00

Am I the only healthy one in the office today? It seams like everyone has a cough or a hack or the sniffles or a downright nasty nasal explosion. I need to fashion another makeshift SARS mask out of rubberbands, paperclips and coffee filters. My only ailment comes in the way of a killer crick in my neck, but at least it's not contagious! The problem is company policy. Everyone is so scared of calling in sick after the latest round of wrist slaps that they show up with their funk and then give it to everyone else. In the long run, you have more people sick who will eventually stay home, therefore you lose even more productivity! I swear, if someone hacks up a lung I'm selling it on eBay.

How To Find Me

2005-01-03T07:04:00.000-06:00

Checking StatCounter's keyword analysis for my blog is a constant source of entertainment. So I decided to post some of the funnier search queries that have landed people here.

Yahoo:movie lines and harry you're alive and you're a horrible shot

Altavista:wedgie dungarees

Yahoo:overalls wedgie sexy

Yahoo:dallas cowboy's cheerleaders naked

Yahoo:labare's in dallas, texas

So if you ever you can't remember mikeblogging.blogspot.com then just type "Mike's Sexy Wedgie" into Google and surf on over! Search engines are great!

A look back

2005-01-02T11:13:00.000-06:00

I spent the final hours of 2004 with close friends enjoying a meal we thought would never end. Well mostly enjoying...the butternut squash bisque was a little sagey and the potatoes au-gratin was a little undercooked, but who was really keep score anyway? The company was the feature of the night and as we all sat at the table trying to be proper (and trying to sneak the word "moist" into the conversation) I realized what good friends I have. Despite the fact that we've all been scattered to the wind over the last year or so, we go to great lengths to get together on a pretty regular basis. I hope that continues for a long time.

2004 was an important year in my life. It was the year I graduated from college and earned that little piece of paper that will unlock so many doors to my future. It was the year I came to the realization that it was time to grow up a bit and leave certain things/people/habits behind. I'm not big on resolutions, but I do have a couple of goals for 2005. First and foremost, finding a job. Somewhere behind that falls getting a place, getting fit, and getting...well let's just see how things turn out.

So This Is The New Year

2005-01-01T23:59:00.000-06:00

Thought I would share the lyrics to a Death Cab for Cutie song that seems very fitting for this, our new year.

The New Year

So this is the new year
and I don't feel any different

the clanking of crystal
explosions off in the distance
in the distance...

so this is the new year
and I have no resolution

it's self-assigned penance?
for problems with easy solutions

so everybody put your best suit or dress on
let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once
lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn
as thirty dialogues bleed into one
I wish the world was flat like the old days
so I could travel just by folding the map
no more airplanes or speed-trains or freeways
there'd be no distance that could hold us back

there'd be no distance that could hold us back
there'd be no distance that could hold us back

so this is the new year (repeat 4x)

The Track Was Right, The Time Was Wrong

2004-12-29T08:45:00.000-06:00

That was my first thought this morning as I woke up with 3 minutes until I was supposed to be at work. Ally gave me a new alarm clock for Christmas that will wake you up to the track of your choice from a CD. So I decided to change out the CD and put it on an Avalanches track last night before I went to bed completely ignoring that the time wasn't correct. So I was late to work today. That has got to be one of my least favorite feelings. When your first emotion after waking up is the split second of panic as you realize there is NO WAY you will make it to work/school/Best Buy on time. But enough about me, lets talk about me! This week has been pretty blah coming off Christmas and waiting for New Year's. I am pretty sure that this is one of the most unproductive weeks in the American (if not world) working year. With a large part of the workforce on vacation and the portion really annoyed to be at work I see productivity dropping like a rock. Unfortunately for me, we are actually pretty busy this week at work which leaves little time for slacking. I choose to blog during my few minutes of downtime...don't you feel special.

I realized I never posted my Christmas gifts list, but I am lazy so it's not going to happen...deal with it. I will say that I got socks, I am wearing a pair today, and they are making my feet sweat like nobody's business! For a little entertainment, surf over to Mike Toole's blog where he features my 3 random questions today. And for the record my Christmas Tree fate was very un-fateful.

Merry Christmas Philly! Paybacks are a...

2004-12-25T10:42:00.000-06:00

The Crime	The Punishment
Our Gift to Philly
Keep your showboat off our star!

My Christmas Eve

2004-12-24T21:30:00.000-06:00

I thought I would blog a bit while I wait for one of my DVDs to burn. That's right boys and girls, I got a DVD burner for Christmas. Now I know what you're thinking...its only Christmas Eve and we are still waiting for our presents! Well Santa stopped by my house early this year and I got all my presents on Wednesday. Ally and I braved the ice and snow and made our way over to my parent's house for some early Christmas goodness. The whole celebration started out with only Ally and Andrea (my brother's fiancé) getting to open presents since they were both going out of town the next day, but quickly evolved into "let's just open everything!" I won't give away all the great presents I got because I don't want to make you anymore jealous than you already are. Surf on over Christmas Day to see the list.

The Eve of Christmas Eve

2004-12-24T21:01:00.000-06:00

So today I got up at around 12:30 and it took me another 30 minutes to shake off the groggy funk. I was out until after 1am last night with my favorite cousin barking at the moon (note: some of the details have been left out to protect the innocent). I will say that we had an interesting experience at a bar with some random guy that was drinking alone. After we had both ordered a beer a guy sitting a chair over on the other side of Chuck started trying to get our attention. Seeing him out of the corner of my eye allowed me the benefit of never making eye contact, but Chuck was hooked like a trout. The lousy cover band obscured their short exchange and I noticed that they toasted at the end. I turned to Chuck and was like "whaa?" He told about some random toast this guy wanted to make, but ended up getting it all wrong. So I raised my glass to Chuck and this random guy and said, "She offered her honor, so I honored her offer, and all night long I was on her and off her!" The guy thought it was hilarious, but being that he was in a drunken stupor forgot it in two seconds flat. So I spent the next 3 minutes teaching numbnuts my witty little play on words. This marked the clear signal for us to depart the bar and head for the Golden Tee machine. I swear I saw this guy mouthing it as we got up from the bar.

And Chuck may or may not be getting a call from the bartendertress we had at Texas Land and Cattle. While Chuck was in the bathroom I wrote "Call Me When You Get Off" along with Chuck's cell phone number on his credit card receipt. I'm such a sly dawg! I couldn't help but tell him after we had reached a safe distance from the restaurant and we joked that she would call him and they would fall in love forever and have 10 kids. She was a little brunette hoddy with a body so this could turn out pretty good for the ole cuz! I'll definitely post something on here if that actually happens so keep your eyes peeled for that! All this hookup trickery reminds me to urge you to go see Closer. You'll understand why it reminded me when you see it and I'm not giving anything else away. The night ended with us driving home while Chuck argued with his on again, off again chick and she may never know that half the time I was actually holding the phone while she screamed and yelled at him. HA! Good times!

I ARE A GRADUATE!

2004-12-21T07:31:00.000-06:00

Man, I feel like a deadbeat blogger! First I let my TAR blog die and then I don't update for 2+ weeks. I should be flogged with a broken mouse! Contrary to popular belief, I am alive and I survived finals.

I can honestly say that my Accounting final was easily one of the hardest finals in my entire college career, but I got through it and passed the class! PROPS TO ME! My other two finals were easier though so I guess things balanced out. As I mentioned before, I took a course at another school in addition to UTA so I actually had a final Monday night for that class after I had graduated from UTA on Sunday. Believe me when I tell you it was VERY HARD to make myself study for another final after I had already "graduated", but I knew if I bombed the final I wouldn't pull the required "C" needed for a transfer credit so I persevered and knocked it out like a champ. I was FINALLY able to check my grades today for that class and it's a go!

I are a graduate now! I can't even explain the feeling I felt walking across that stage. Well, I take that back...I can explain the feeling of the vain in my forehead swelling to capacity as the moron administrator pronounced my name wrong. I guess a phonetic spelling on my card and a practice session beforehand just wasn't enough! It could have been worse though...a couple of people in the row behind me were hacked because he didn't annouce that they were summa cum laude/cum laude. All that hard work/studying/not having a girlfriend/etc for 4+ plus years so on your big day you can be lumped in with the rest of us morons. HA! But there was no way I was letting that guys steal my thunder! I could barely here my family cheering for me and believe me it was not because they weren't cheering loud. I was definitely having one of those surreal, heartbeat-is-pretty-much-the-only-thing-you-can-hear, holy shittake mushrooms this is really happening moments! After it was all over, all the graduates filed out and waited for their people to come out in the front of the building. My mom was the first one out and I could see her beaming with pride for her gradute son! The rest of my family and Alison were close behind and they showed the same expressions. Thanks for all your support guys! I don't want a picture of me in that stupid gown and hat, I want one of everyone looking at me. That's what I want to remember! It was truly a great moment for Mike!

So I spent the last week vegging out in front of the TV playing Halo 2 and just doing NOTHING! It was a great feeling to not have to rush home from work so I could relax for a few minutes before having to bomb out for school again. My next big hurdle is getting my resume updated. I have been working on it a little, but for the most part I have put it off. A small part of me is delaying the progress in hopes of savoring this break from the madness just a little while longer, but another part of me really wants to get out of my current job for the bigger and the better. Mostly the bigger and the better money, apartment and life in general. I am stoked about what this new year will hold for me. I think it will be one of the most influencial years of my life. Stay tuned for that! 2005 HERE I COME!

The Calm Before The Norm

2004-12-06T10:00:00.000-06:00

It's very strange, but I feel pretty calm about the whole situation. Normally this time of the year I am freaking out about finals, but this being the last semester of my undergrad career I am feeling a lot more relaxed. Now don't get me wrong...I am still maintaining a healthy level of anxiety and studying my balls off, but I don't feel the madness that once was finals week. I wish I can say that all this calmness is due to the cushy schedule I swung for myself for the final semester, but that just isn't the case. Like a moron I didn't plan out my schedules the way I should have across the semesters so of course I get screwed at the end.

Most of the reason this semester has been such a biddy is due to the degree requirements at UTA. Because they require 8 hours of the same science and all of their sciences are only offered during the day I got screwed into taking the 2nd half of Chemistry (took the first half at SFASU, Axe 'Em Jacks!) at a Community College. The beauty of this was it forced me to goto school 4 nights a week since I couldn't commute between the two schools on the same night. This further compounded the biddyness of the semester by putting tight limitations on what nights and times I could take classes. Because this 2nd part of Chemistry was only being offered on Monday/Wednesday nights at one school in the whole Metroplex I was forced to make all my classes at UTA fit on Tuesday/Thursday night. Since I work 40 hours a week, all my classes had to be at night. This left me with some tough decisions on what to take since I only had Advanced Business electives left in my degree along with the Chemistry requirement. After visiting with a advisor in the summer I had a list of classes that would fulfill my advanced business electives and I set off to register for my final run at the degree! I soon realized this was going to be messy. All the electives I could take WERE ONLY OFFERED ON MONDAY/WEDNESDAY NIGHTS!! Oh crap, what do I do? Am I going to have to shoot this semester to the wind and graduate in May '05? Then I spotted it...my ugly, ray of hope. I call it ugly because it came by way of a managerial accounting class and I suck at accounting. I am way too interesting a person to be a bean counting, pencil pusher and that shat just don't jive in my head. I mean, I get the whole inflow/outflow, but then you throw in time value of money and depreciation tax savings and it all gets a bit hazy. After all, it is math and I suck at math so it goes hand in hand. I know what you're thinking right now..."but Mike, you are a technical guy...a nerd even. How are you not good at math?" Well that's just the way I'm built ok? When they were putting me together the math software was on back-order so it didn't get loaded in my brain. So deal with it and stop judging me! Besides, being a computer nerd has allowed me to find tons of software and tools that can complete any of the tasks thrown at me by accounting. But can I bring my laptop into the test and use my nifty Excel spreadsheets that would figure everything in a snap....noooooooooo. That would be way too easy and using technology way too efficiently. All this to say, I was forced to sign up for a grinder of an accounting course and shot my easy last semester right to h3ll. My only saving grace was my e-Commerce Principles course, which still turned out to be a hassle with the implementation of a new rule that all Business courses at UTA are required to have group project! Argh! To sum it all up, this last couple of months have not been a cake walk and I've got the scars to prove it.

The one thing I'm sure about in this whole mess is Ally. She has been by me through the thick and the thin, steady cheering me on and providing lots of encouragement. For the first time in my life I've felt something that is very new to me. The feeling that I'm not alone in this whole thing. That this degree isn't just for me. I feel an internal drive to excel and achieve to make a great life for us in the future. She makes me want to be a better man! A lot of it stems from this BIG landmark in my life where I am realizing this is it...the moment I've been waiting for since I graduated high school. To walk across that stage and get my degree (well not my degree, but a little paper that says they will mail it to me). Then I'm set loose on the big bad world to sink or swim.

Final finals here I come...finally!

Things I Hate

2004-12-02T19:27:00.000-06:00

I can only preface this post by saying that it has been a shiddy week and I need to vent! So here goes nothin'!

THINGS I HATE FROM THIS WEEK:

Stupid People on their Stupid cell phones driving their Stupid cars

People that but in 3/4s through a conversation and want you to start over from the top

Smelly people in front of you at Wendy's that kill your appetite for a Wild Mountain Chicken Sandwich

Romain lettuce with the rib in it

Missing Ally because I have to study

People who pee on the toilet seat at work

That split-second when you wake up to realize you alarm clock is going off and you have to get up

Accidentally biting my lip and making it bleed

When I find a coat that I really want and they don't carry my size

Being really inspired to blog only to discover that blogger.com is down

Deadbeat group members that don't contribute and then expect to slide in at the end of the project and get a good grade

Professors who act like they are doing you a favor by holding office hours

Blogging like nobodys biznizz only to have your laptop battery give out in medius res

Getting all the way to the parking garage only to realize you left you coat at your desk

Having to wait a whole week for your favorite show to come back on

POPUPS!!

People that try to read over my shoulder while I blog in class

The Plot Quickens

2004-12-01T09:07:00.000-06:00

This week my life has officially kicked into high gear and the crunch is on. Next week I have my two finals in my UTA courses and then an exam and lab final in my TCC course. Oh the joys of taking courses at two different colleges. The funniest/scariest part about the whole thing is the fact that I will actually graduate (walk) on the 12th, but not take my TCC course final until after that. So I have to hand deliver my transcript over to UTA once they turn in my final grade. What a hassle! The good news is that last night we finally did our presentation in my managerial accounting course and it went off without a hitch. When I looked over at the prof she was really into it and steady checking off her little list. Then after class she approached our group and gave us a "good job guys!" Normally I wouldn't be so stoked about a presentation going well, but I had my reservations going into it considering our group had been widdled down from 5 to 3. I say this because one of our group members dropped halfway through the semester and another decided he wasn't going to show up to any of the group meetings or participate in writing the paper/organizing the presentation. So I am glad to have that project behind me. Now all I have to do is pass the final in there!

Everything else is taking a back seat to school right now including, but not limited to, work, christmas shopping, job hunting, Halo 2, hanging out with friends/cousins, fan club president duties, TAR Recaps, bathing (kidding, I still bathe once a week whether I need it or not). I've got to graduate and get a real paying job to make my life presentable for Ally so when I get down on one knee I don't have to be holding one of those plastic rings out a the machine in front of a Wal-Mart. Speaking of rings, part of our road trip conversation included the prospect of ring shopping and how it still kind of freaked both us out. Not freaked out like "whoa I don't want to ring shop with you" we both agreed, but more of that "let's get through the huge things that are happening in our lives and then walk that plank" kind of freaked out. It's panic time for Ally too with her big project at work so timing=not so good. I am confident that things will be much better soon though. Hopefully in a month's time we will be looking back on this crazy month and laughing.

Editor's note: Post title inspired by Alisa's post here.

Holiday Hangover

2004-11-30T08:49:00.000-06:00

I'm back from the holiday and still wondering where all the time went. I feel like I should be rested after all that time off, but it was tough getting back into the swing of things. I hit a wall around noon and was ready for a nap.

So it all went down likes this:
We ended up leaving Dallas pretty late on Wednesday which made no difference in the grand scheme of things. After I got off work at 2 I fought my way over to the kennel to drop of my dawg which ended up taking a hour and a half roundtrip. Main Street in Lewisville is my own personal traffic hell...I avoid it at all costs! So after meeting Ally (who was nice enough to pick up my dry cleaning on the way over) back at the house I ran around like a moron packing the last minute items. We threw everything in the Rover and pulled onto the road a little after 5 which was a little later than we had planned. We stopped at the campus bookstore on the way out of town to get my cap and gown for graduation since the deadline was Friday and we wouldn't be back by then. Traffic was pretty thick getting out of town, but once we left the metroplex it let up a bit. That was until we hit the construction on 20 where the road bottlenecks down to ONE LANE! It created a backup for miles and it took us over an hour to get through a stretch of highway that is probably only 10 miles. Regardless of the traffic snarl Ally and I had a good road trip as usual. We are never at a loss for things to talk about which makes the time pass quickly. Abilene had already rolled up the sidewalks when we got there, but Al's parents were happy to see us.

The rest of our time in Abilene was spent eating, sleeping and watching the boob toob. The rest of the world could have burned down and I would had never known it unless they broke in during the Cowboys game or the Bond-A-Thon on TNT. That's what I like about Abilene. They take the insane-o-meter and crank it back about 30 notches until everything grinds to a hault. Even their mall, which you might think would be chaos on the day after Thanksgiving was bearable. I've seen more chaos at the Tom Thumb on Sunday afternoon here in Dallas. We headed back on Saturday and beat most of the traffic back to Dallas. We rented The Terminal to watch Saturday night which was pretty good. Sunday I got to sleep in again! Ally and I went to brunch at one of our favorite spots, La Duni. As usual it was pretty busy and pretty cramped, but the food was excellent. After that we stopped in to Northpark, but quickly realized that we weren't in the mood for shopping. We picked up Elf on the way home and settled in for some lazy Sunday afternoon DVDing. Just for the record, Will Ferrell was hilarious and I highly recommend Elf for a holiday movie even if you are a grinch like me. Sunday night we had a delayed Thanksgiving dinner with my family and listened to stories (and looked at pictures that I wish I hadn't) of my parents travels over the last week.

In a nutshell it was a good couple of days off and time well spent with family. Now for the chaos to commence as the final push to December 12th continues. Unfortunately the crunch has claimed its first victim. Due to time limitations I won't be recapping The Amazing Race for a while. For all of your who liked the first recap I apologize and hope to find the time once everything settles down.

The Wednesday Before The Thursday

2004-11-24T10:44:00.000-06:00

I feel completely unmotivated to do anything today! I rolled out of bed 10 minutes before I was supposed to be at work and still hit the snooze. I stayed up too late last night messing with laundry and Halo 2 and TiVo. I didn't even get to watch the whole Amazing Race episode so the recap is going to be a couple of days late. My contingency plan is to burn the episode, take it with me to Abilene and recap it there. The only hitch in my plan is internet access since Al's parents are still on AOL dialup. I know the Buffalo Wild Wings has free wireless interweb so I might have to make a stop there for some boneless wings and blogging. I'm looking forward to a good Thanksgiving meal at the country club. The only thing I will miss about not having the bird at home will be the leftover turkey samiches. I might have to smuggle some turkey out of the dining room in my pockets for later. White bread, hellman's and cold, fat slices of urkeytay...YUM! I hope everyone has a great couple of days off for Thanksgiving. Be safe!

Did I Move To Seattle?

2004-11-23T01:38:00.000-06:00

It's done nothing but rain here for what seems like 2 weeks straight and its really starting to grate on me. My mood is definitely down! No wonder Seattle has a high suicide rate. A couple more months like this and I would be ready to sit in the garage with the car running too! (Note to all: this is not my cry for help.)

Speaking of Seattle and suicide and Kurt Cobain. Ok so we weren't talking about Kurt Cobain and this is my lousy attempt at a segway into talking about music. So I've been listening to some good music lately. The most recent, noteable additions to my collection are:

Gavin Degraw
Chariot + Bonus Chariot Stripped CD

Coheed and Cambria
Second Stage Turbine Blade

Snow Patrol
Final Straw

Snow Patrol
When It's All Over...[IMPORT]

Roni Size
Touching Down

Earlimart
Everyone Down Here

Interpol
Antics

As you can probably tell my music tastes are leaning towards Indie as of late. I have Matt and Alisa to thank for the inspiration. I was in one of those music ruts where all my CDs were starting to sound the same, but I'm back on track wit da jamz.

Short Week Here I Come!

2004-11-21T11:22:00.000-06:00

Trying to sort out the coming week in my hazy, Sudafed head has been a real challenge. Luckily Ally was around last night to talk me through the weeks task, activities and commitments. I don't know what I would do without her! She was a real trooper yesterday considering she was in dog hell for a good part of the day. Since I am going home with her for Thankgiving I have to board Kitty (my dawg...Yeah I named a dog Kitty...get over it). Well to board a dog they have to be up on their shots which Kitty was not. I found out about a mobile clinic that gives a round of shots that normally costs $100+ for $32 so it was game on. Well of course my parents are boarding their dogs who also need shots, so it was dog shot field trip time.

Let me back up and qualify a couple of things before we proceed on. Alison has several allergies varying from grass to pet dander which cause her discomfort (she's not quite to the plastic bubble phase yet). I don't know how many of you out there have been through an allergy test, but I liken it to medieval torture. I was the designated handholder for Al's and it was even painful to watch. Lemme set the scene: Ok, we are going to expose you to anything and everything that you could possibly have an allergic reaction to. To do this we are going to put drops of these allergic baddies on your back and then prick them with a needle to make sure you are exposed. Don't even think about scratching either. Not that you could reach most the places they put them without pulling some contortionist shiz. Then we want you to lay there for 15 minutes (!) and let this crap react on your back and make you swell up like Quasimodo. We will eventually put some cream on the hump that has formed on your back , but you are still going to itch like no ones business. To top things off, we have this special test where we actually have to inject a bubble of the baddies under your skin. If your skin itching wasn't bad enough, how about itching UNDER your skin?

All this to say Ally has dog allergies...so back to the pet shot field trip. My mom, Al and I pile into the Yukon with 3 dogs and head out to Lewisville. Being the nice guy I am, I let Ally ride in the front seat and I rode in the back with the dog circus. And it wasn't that good dog circus where they where tutus and do tricks and stuff. It was crying, whining, shedding hair, slobbering, batsh!t dog circus. Our dogs always freak in the car because 90% of the time its becase they are going to the vet or to be boarded. It's amazing how 3 little dogs can stink and muck up a car in a relativley short time. We finally dropped my mom's two dogs off at the kennel and we are left with the 3 of us and Kitty. I'm a dog lover, have no pet allergies and I was still pretty annoyed by the dog funk that hung in the car, so I know Al wasn't having a good time. She trooped on through, never said a word and we finally made it back home. Meanwhile I'm sure she was ready to strip off her clothes and writhe on the concrete in itching agony. Such a gal!

"Harry! You're Alive...and You're a Horrible Shot!"

2004-11-12T17:12:00.000-06:00

I appreciate all the emails with your concern about my well being. I am, in fact, alive and well...ok maybe just alive. I apologize for not updating for so long, but it has been one of those weeks where I would be pulling my hair out if I could get a hand free. I popped up on a few blogs for some comments, but that's about all there was time for between Accounting exams, a workload eruption at work, and my life in general. I usually try to make a post in the morning while the snowball is still rolling relatively slow, but this week instead of a snowball it was an avalanche threatening to kill us all. It's either feast or famine up there which I know Kyle can relate to! Just when I was looking forward to a slow, relaxed weekend Lumbergh asked me to come in on Saturday. So I will be bangin out a couple of hours at work tomorrow too! Yippee! I guess it could be worse...I mean look at Scott Peterson.

DRAFT DUMP: Sleep Depreciation

2004-11-09T18:52:00.000-06:00

FROM THE LOST ARCHIVES OF FORGOTTEN DRAFTS:
I am convinced that sleep is completely overrated. On a normal night I am not able to wind down and get in bed till right at midnight. This may seem strange considering that I get up at 5AM to be at work at 6AM, but it's the way it works. I intentionally went to bed early (10:30PM) last night and I still feel the same as when I goto bed at the normal time. And this is not an isolated occurence. I have, in the past, made a conscious attempt to be in bed before 11PM for several days in a row and I notice no change. I am conviced that my sleep debt is in the triple digits.

The Monday Routine

2004-11-08T10:20:00.000-06:00

Ok boys and girls, this is the part where I pretend that everyone is interested in what I did this past weekend and you guys pretend to listen attentively while clipping your toenails. It's the typical Monday post. If nothing else I am trying to be consistant here. The weekend was very family-centric. Friday night Ally and I went to Houston's with her parents and favorite Aunt and Uncle from her dad's side. The food was great and the company was better. There were a lot of laughs about Al's sister's wedding and a picture swap which included tears (~~mine~~...women are so emotional about weddings). As usual Uncle Randall comes through with a great story or two and cracked us all up. There was short talk of my graduation and what I was planning on doing afterwards. It was a little nerve-racking to talk about the job leads, especially since I feel somewhat inactive about the process at this point. I have to say I am really stressed out about the whole thing. Between working 40 hours a week, trying to finish 3 classes 4 nights a week and trying to stay sane, I think I am barely making it. I'm not sure if I even know where to begin. I feel the way I felt before I graduated high school where there is that looming future and you are only halfway sure what it holds. Except this time around I don't know where the next path leads me. When I graduated HS I at least knew where I was going to school. I am also very uneasy about the prospect of finding a job in Dallas. I know that there are a lot of IT possibilities here, but I worry about the economic climate for the sector in general. I do feel lucky, however, that I already have a decent paying job now. That takes a little pressure off the situation, but not a lot. Anyway, enough with that tangent. Try the crab cakes and 5 nut brownie ala mode at Houston's, good stuff!

Saturday day was pretty humdrum. I went over to Kevin's to play some GTA: SA and drink beers. Saturday night my family went to Texas Land and Cattle for Kevin's Bday and tortured a waiter with no sense of humor. "Coldest beer in Texas my Anus!" "That's what she said!" After that we headed back to the house and watched the first part of The Godfathter. I'm still trying to figure out how I can sneak "Leave the gun...take the canolis" into a conversation. Great line!

Sunday was business as usual. I worked in the morning/afternoon and then went over to Al's to watch the end of the Cowboy's game. I say the Cowboy's game, but I am pretty sure that they were at IHOP watching while the cheerleaders suited up and took the field. What now Parcells?! The only good news on the NFL front was seeing the Eagles get trounced by the Steelers! When the early games were over and the "bonus footage" (hee) had ended we once again set out on the search for the holy grail of bedding. After ~~striking out~~ at Sheets and Sh!t (aka Linen's and Things) and Blood Bath and Beyond we headed to the Northpark Dillards. Yeah, Once more unto the breach, dear friends. I will say that the bathroom in the homewares department was very clean with plently of room to stretch out on the fighting chair (fishing reference. Anyone anyone?). Sure it was the Handi-stall, but I would have vacated if I saw wheels under the door. Geez, what do you take me for? Anyway, we made our way over to the mobbed Tom Thumb where shopping is like Death Race 2000 with Highland Park soccer moms at the wheel of many a buggy. Cougars, as Alisa would say, were in high numbers. We made it out alive and darted over to the local Blockbuster only to walk the aisles aimlessly (Me: "saw it, saw it, saw it" Ally: "what about this one?" Me:"I saw it" Ally: "you watched that without me?! Stop watching movies without me!") and end up with Big Fish. We ordered in Lover's Pizza(yum!) and plopped down (well I plopped down, Ally gracefully drifted down and landed as soft as a feather) on the couch. I dozed off a 1/3 through Big Fish and then woke up for the last 1/3. I didn't really feel like I missed anything though, very interesting. Al and I agreed that it was a little long for it's own good. It had good parts though. I could make a lot of jokes about Ally's intermittant and completely unpredictable food/drink needs yesterday, but I won't. :)

As usual, I hope everyone has a good week.

The Weather I Wanted

2004-11-04T08:18:00.000-06:00

Just like clockwork November ushers in great weather. Troy Dungan was particularly excited, in his red blazer and matching bowtie, to report the cooler weather for the next couple of days last night on the news. I was late this morning because my bed was just too warm to get out of. I also woke up with a headache which is juuuuust great! I can't stand waking up with a headache that I didn't earn the night before. The way my head was pounding I could have swore it was beat flat on one side with a 2x4, but a brave glance in the mirror proved me wrong. I made my way downstairs and checked the digital thermometer outside which read 37. Wow! That's pretty crazy considering this time last week we were in the 70s. I opened up the door to let my dog out and a perfectly timed breeze whipped in the door and slammed us both in the face. She immediately turned and headed back to her bed. I wanted to do the same, but I was already late for work so I needed to hurry. It's really a vicious cycle though when I am late. A couple years of analysis have proven there is a window of about 15 minutes for me to leave the house and be on the road with minimal traffic. If I miss that window traffic is 2wice as hectic and my commute time doubles (argh!). Especially when you get behind a city bus, a moving truck and a 18 wheeler driving down the road like neighbors and blocking the whole frickin' highway! I also had the benefit of almost plowing one of the morons that works in my building this morning because they apperently don't know how to use a blinker when turning into the garage. I am going to stop now before this turns into a traffic tirade the likes of which no one should be subjected to this early in the day. I will now take deep breaths and try to make it through today without my head exploding. Thank the Lord for Excedrin Migraine.

Bush Wins!

2004-11-03T11:21:00.000-06:00

The Battle of Ohio was a victory for the Republicans and Bush wins re-election! The icing on that cake is the expanded Republican majority in the House and Senate. Republicans even control the gubernatorial (what a great word!) race.

And The Winner Is...

2004-11-03T08:06:00.000-06:00

...who knows. The media is still trying to drag this one out and Kerry isn't conceding. This one won't be over till the Democrat's lawyers have their say. Kerry's Breck Girl running mate has vowed that no vote would be left behind in Ohio (well at least no democratic vote). My favorite headline is from CNN.com that reads "BUSH CAMP CERTAIN OF WIN." I looked at the map right before I went to bed at around 11:45ish CST and they were still unsure. So first thing this morning, I flip on the TV and IT'S STILL OUT! I will be interested to see which network has the stones to come out and call it first after what happened in 2000. Tom Brokaw will would not stop talking about "having egg/omelet on his face in 2000" yesterday. I kept yelling at the TV, "you're hilarious Tom!! Give it a rest!!" "In other news, the race for King of the Dipwads is close with Tom Brokaw inching ahead of Regis Philbin by only a couple of votes." I kept thinking election returns coverage would make a great drinking game so I made up some ground rules.

Drink when:
Someone says "Chad" ie "Hanging Chad", "Pregnant Chad", etc
Someone says "Pundits"
Someone says "Provisional Ballots"
Someone says "Democracy Plaza"
Someone says "Electoral"

Take a shot when:
Someone says the name of the state you were born in

Drink the whole bottle when:
Tom Brokaw says "Bukkake"

Those rules should get you started, eventhough you won't be able to play for another 4 years. DOH! Although...the continuing coverage might provide good fodder for getting shiddy. If you are out there Tom Daschle, this could be just the thing to ease your pain. Muahahah! He should have "reached across the aisle" once in a while, it would have provided a little experience in his new job as a supermarket stocker in South Dakota.

So now we wait...

Splish Splash

2004-11-01T11:24:00.000-06:00

Well luckily I had my kayak mounted on the Rover this morning (not really). Nothing like fording through 2 feet of water to start your day off right. My favorite is when I hit a deep puddle at high speed and it throws up huge plumes of water and drowns the compact cars next to me. Sorry to all of you who drive compacts.

Had a great weekend eventhough it started out a little crazy. Friday I spent all day (after I got up at 11am of course) running around getting ready for my mom's bday party. My dad had this hair-brained idea that he would buy her a slot machine after they had seen some at a craft fair a while back. So we trucked over to the Slot Warehouse(!) to look at used slot machines. This ended up being a total waste of time considering they were much more than any sane person would pay for something that would end up sitting in the corner collecting dust after a week. I told him to put the money into taking her to Vegas. We bombed over to the mall with a few hours before the party was going to start and decided on TiVo for her. It's a running joke in my family to ask for a sack of hundred dollar bills so my dad thought it would be funny to get (100) 1 dollar bills and put them in a sack to give her. I know...we are cheesy, but ya luv us! My mom said she was going to take them to LaBare's (read: Sausage Show). We ordered food from Pappasito's (Mom's fave) which ended up being awesome as usual! The Sour Cream Chicken Enchiladas are the bombshizzy. After the party we spent the rest of the night setting up the TiVo. I also managed to vote Friday which was a small bit of chaos in itself. I stood outside for about an hour and a half so I could get inside and have an 80 year old guy explain to me how a touch screen works. "Oh no no...I get it...touch the SCREEN with the tip of your FINGER, then press the BLINKING BUTTON to cast my ballot."

Saturday Ally and I ran errands for most of the day which included a hair cut for me, a trip to Pottery Barn, a trip to Crate and Barrel, a trip to ghetto Target (read: screaming, bastard kids nightmare), a mid-day work press check for Al, a trip to Best Buy, and Northpark where we ALMOST ended Al's neverending search for the holy bedding grail. I procured a pimp-tastic shirt which I rocked with the blue kicks Saturday night. We decided on Texas Land and Cattle for dinner(service=slow) and then met up with fellow art house flick junkies, Brie and Jakester, to see I Heart Huckabees. If you like quirky, off-the-wall comedies then I Heart Huckabees is your movie...very Royal Tenenbaums. I laughed hard!

Most of Sunday was at work and most of that time was spent waiting for/listening to the Cowboys game. The Boys pulled a win out of their hat and I couldn't be happier. Al and I watched the last quarter in the bar at the new Buffalo Wild Wings. She's now convinced she has black lungs from the cigarette smoke and her hair "DEFINITELY smelled like smoke." We got home and I slipped into a wings and Shiner-induced coma for 3 hours. I woke up all groggy and suddenly it was time to eat again according to Al, so we had creamy tomato soup (not so much) and grilled cheeses (much much!). After fighting the rain home, I realized that I wasn't going to be tired for a long time due to my nap so I stayed up screwing around on the computer until I forced myself into bed at 2am. And that was how the weekend ended.

Don't you feel well informed now?

Halloweiner

2004-11-01T10:31:00.000-06:00

For the record I did absolutely nothing Halloween related this year. Well unless you count eating left over candy. It was a constant source of entertainment to see people wearing costumes all weekend long. It seemed that people had extended the holiday all the way in to Thursday. I guess all you have to do is give people half a chance to dress up and the run with it. I can remember hitting the clubs in Houston on Halloween back in the day and it was a riot. Something about being able to wear a costume made everyone a little more freaky-deaky. Case in point...my roommate at the time decides (after way too many vodka-Red Bulls mind you) that it would be a good idea to pinch a girls butt that was walking by dressed like a boxer (not the dog). Good thing she wasn't a real boxer because she turned around and swung at him, but she was so off aim she nearly took me out. So she stumbles off like nothing happened (obviously toasted). We run into her later and my roommate apologizes eventhough she didn't even remember it happening. Long story long, they hit it off and end up hooking up at the after hours for the TKO (or so he says). Meanwhile, I was dressed as a doctor and did my civic duty by giving out free breast exams all night.

Crazy Halloween nights!

Week=Over? Almost!

2004-10-28T12:12:00.000-05:00

This week has taken forever! It took every ounce of energy to drag myself out of bed this morning. Alarm goes off at 5am and I'm looking for something to throw at it. Uh yeah...could I go ahead and gain that extra hour NOW?! I thought I was tired when I got off the phone with Ally at 11ish, but then going to bed would require me to get up, go downstairs, get in bed...too much work. Plus I realized that I forgot to cue up my shows to download so I HAD TO DO THAT! If you aren't into TiVo or Bit Torrents I highly recommend checking them out, especially if you have a busy schedule like I like to pretend I have...ha! Speaking of TV, are you guys watching LOST? If not please commence beating yourself over the head with a large brick or ring your call button and Tommy will come back there and hit you over the head with a tack hammer because you are a retard. Seriously though, its a great show! I thought about doing a weekly recap for it, but I think I am going to save all that energy for when The Amazing Race 6 starts back up on November 16. I can't believe another season is already starting for TAR, but I am definitely not complaining! Looking through the teams, it doesn't look like there is a midget this time around, but the team of married pro wrestlers should be equally entertaining. "Bolo describes his wife as a mix between Jennifer Aniston and professional wrestler Chyna." I can't wait!

The Simpson Saga

2004-10-28T10:46:00.000-05:00

I promised myself that I wouldn't jump on the bandwagon and blog about it, but I am not so good at keeping promises with myself lately so whateva! Besides, if Zach can blog about it then I can! If you don't know what Simpson Saga I'm referring to then go back under your rock, we have it under control out here. I will keep it short and not sweet.

I liked Ashlee better when her hair was blonde, she wore normal clothes, she didn't do live gigs, and the only time we saw her was short clips on Nick and Jessica. Yeah I watched the show. How else am I going to figure out the blueprint for being a ripped , mack-daddy, married to a hot blonde who unfortunately ends up being REALLY stupid but fortunately carries our careers, and does nothing else but play golf and video games with his brother? So back to Acid Reflux Ashlee. Good thing they actually did an episode on her show about her having acid reflux or this could have been 10x worse. NEWS FLASH Ashlee, they are already looking for your replacement. So take this opportunity to slip into obscurity for a couple of months and reinvent yourself. When you come back I would drop the double "e" for a "y" since that's going to look pretty stupid when you are 30+. Just be true to who you really are...the cute little blonde-headed step daughter of the Simpson Gravy Train...

...who needs a spanking

...from me.

I'm Back...

2004-10-27T10:48:00.000-05:00

...well actually I never left. The training was cancelled which was DEFINITELY a good thing. So I am here in looking out my 4th story window at this wacky weather. The alternating between rain/sunshine is annoying and there is no sign of it letting up according to weather.com. I guess it could be worse...I could live in Seattle. I am ready for the cold, BRING ON THE COLDNESS!! But not like Rob's cold, just some leather jacket weather. Not that we would have any hope of snow on the ground this early, if at all. It will be another month before there is any real hope for busting out with jackets.

Back to the Grind

2004-10-25T09:45:00.000-05:00

It's Monday again people...in case any of you just woke up from your weekend blur. I am making sure to blog today sinceI will be out of the office for training the next two days. I can't decide which is more exciting. Being in the office with the same ole shiz or in a boring training room across town. I vote for the change in scenery I guess. At least I'll get to sleep later.

Weekend highlights include:
-Trulucks Friday night feast
-Lots of sleep
-Laundry finished
-Chipotle surprise via Ally ("Foil Shizzle")
-Lazy Sunday afternoon

Weekend lowlights include:
-Yard Work
-Saturday without Ally which led to...
-A family joke that goes too far, intestinal discomfort ensues (See Pancho's)
-The Cowboys tip-toe through the tulips and get their stems cut off.

Sadly (for some), no one has been trapped in the elevators as of late so no good Monday morning story-weaving about harrowing toilet plunger rescues.

Sense of Smell

2004-10-21T08:25:00.000-05:00

It's funny the way our brains work. Especially when it comes to our senses. I opened the door to my building yesterday coming into work and I'm dropkicked by this foul smell. It smelled like a sumo wrestler had taken a dump on a burning tire! I could hardly breathe without gagging and I swear my eyes started watering. I made my way through the lobby to the elevator bank with my sleeve over my mouth and nose trying to only smell my Downy freshness, but the smell of poo permeated. Automatically I'm thinking, "Today is going to be a shiddy day! Somehow this smell is alerting me of the day to come." Finally one of the elevators of death showed up after me punching the button like a madman (which doesn't help at all, but we all do it). As I stepped in the elevator I saw one of the maintenance guys for our building rounding the corner towards the elevator bank literally dripping wet and carrying a plunger. This sad fellow must have been very close to the epicenter. Several horrific images of exploding toilets flashed through my head and I realized the likelihood of my day being as bad as this guy's day had already been was very slim. I thought to myself, "wherever he is going, I hope he washed his hands and he is not getting in this elevator car with me."

Luckily the stench didn't make it up to the 4th floor and when I left that day the smell was gone. I can only assume that something happened in the lobby restroom which unfortunately for the maintenance guys is common. The couple of years I have worked in this building they have had several incidents where the homeless population that lives under the bridge and by the drainage ditch have weaseled their way into the restroom and taken baths in the sink, dumps on the floor and other disgusting bathroom anomalies. The interesting thing is they have a keypad on the door to the restroom for this very reason, so short of following someone in or knowing the code I don't understand how they do it. They must have a guy on the inside.

Insert Clever Title Here

2004-10-18T22:01:00.000-05:00

This past weekend was a good balance of activity and relaxation. Ally and I laid low Friday night with a Lover's Pizza and a DVD. We watched Club Dread which was good for a couple of laughs, but overall pretty lame. Super Troopers is definitely the better Broken Lizard movie. Brittany Daniel was there to make sure it wasn't a complete waste of time though.

Saturday we hit Burger House for a scrumptous lunch before taking Northpark by storm. The mission...weekend shoes and cute, expensive jeans! Al struck out on the shoes, but the jeans hunt was a total success! As she modeled them for me, the slightly light-in-the-loafers sales guy wanted to know what her husband thought. I looked around, but appearently he had stayed home. HA! So she bought the jeans and we booked it outta there before her husband caught us together. I got a shirt at Gap...just in case anyone cares. We shopped till we dropped...literally. We got home from the mall and collapsed. After a 2 hour coma we arose to the sound of my cell phone. It was my long, lost brother inviting us to dinner at the Iron Cactus downtown. We gladly obliged and headed that way. The food was pretty mediocre, the drinks were good, and the company was great. After dinner we strolled up to the 3rd floor outdoor bar for more drinks. The weather was perfect and there was definitely an interesting crowd which made for good people watching. Overall, I would recommend the Iron Cactus, not for the food but for the atmosphere. Ally's ameretto sours kicked in as we left and she giggled the whole way home in the car. She's so cute when she's toasted (especially in her new jeans...mmm mmm good).

Sunday was a typical Sunday. Went to work, went home, watched the Cowboys blow a game they should have won...you know, the usual. Al came over later and showed me all the new stuff she had bought on shopping trip number 2 with her newly-married sister. We played with the puppies and then made a late night trip to Club Bell for some tacos, nachos, enchiritos and other tasty bastardizations of authentic mexican food. That was pretty much the end of the weekend.

Faster = Better

2004-10-18T11:52:00.000-05:00

I kept noticing that images were taking forever to load during peak times when I loaded my blog and other blogs using the templates provided by Blogger.com. So in an attempt to remedy this situation I offloaded all the images it pulls from the www.blogblog.com site. If anyone else is having this problem shoot me an email and I will show you how to do it. It's a little tricky and requires a small work-around and web space, but not brain surgery.

In case you are wondering...yeah...I'm really busy at work today. :)

The Bubble Bursts

2004-10-14T21:58:00.000-05:00

So I follow a link off a friends blog to another blog and I end up reading it every once in a while. They post a quote that I find interesting in their blog so I look up a quote that relates and post it in the comments. That's when the fun begins. Keep in mind I have never met this girl, talked to her, chatted with her, sent smoke signals, communicated via carrier pigeon...NOTHING.

Wednesday, October 13
Aristotle says ...
All men, or most men, wish what is noble but choose what is profitable; and while it is noble to render a service not with an eye to receiving one in return, it is profitable to receive one. One ought, therefore, if one can, to return the equivalent of services received, and to do so willingly.
posted by theGirl at 4:34 AM

9 Comments:
Mike said...
Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile. -Albert Einstein
6:55 AM

theGirl said...
Nice. Bit too utopian and self-sacrificing for my taste though. Anything that puts me in a situation where I can run the risk to be Christ-like must be discarded as sentimentalist. I'm an egotist you see.
10:22 AM

theGirl said...
I like the quote, it's very idealistic. The implications however frighten me out of my wits. Others aren't always worth living for, denying it would be unreal.
10:23 AM

Mike said...
By definition I am neither a sentimentalist nor an egotist. I fall somewhere in between most of the time. But if you are an egotist then your interpretation could allow you to determine who the "others" are. I would agree that the quote is very idealistic, but I think we should all go out of our way once in a while to help out others and not just when we can profit from it. I hate to think what our world would be like if no one did.
10:09 AM

theGirl said...
People like you always strike me as preachers more than doers, no offense. No one who is so keen of proving their virtue and that of the world ever actually have any. On the other hand, I've met Christ-like people. They're never procupied with making statements, but with actually helping people.
2:25 PM

Mike said...
I hate to burst your bubble Kiki, but you don't know me. I think it would be respectful for everyone involved to get to know me before making conclusions about the kind of person I am or making comments like "People like you." No offense taken by the way.
4:28 PM

theGirl said...
Look dude, you didn't burst my bubble, you don't have what it takes. I can safely make the conclusion that you're a wanker. Don't preach to me about being respectful, if you don't like what I say then don't read my blog.
4:39 PM
Mike said...
Wow...I didn't think you would resort to name calling. You obviously can't handle opinions that differ from yours. It's very sad because when I posted my original comments on your site I thought that it might spur on some intelligent blog dialog, but that didn't happen. Instead you berate my comments, criticize my beliefs and call me names. I can safely make the conclusion that your maturity level makes you not worth my time.
6:29 PM

theGirl said...
You didn't think I would resort to name calling? Call the Waaambulance. You obviously thought wrong didn't cha? I must clarify, our beliefs and opinion conflicts have nothing to do with me calling you names, I honestly think you are a wanker. I don't condem nor share your beliefs. I think you are a hypocrit, a preacher and not a doer. I profoundly dislike you. I don't think you are sincere. If you were sincere your ideas would be best served put to action, rather than in trying to convince me of your integrity and good nature. You might think me rude, in truth I just don't sugar coat my opinions. My maturity level has been known to prevent me from a great many good things. Missing out on anything that might come from you doesn't seem to make the list of "good" things I've missed out on.
6:55 PM

So there you have it. It's scary how immature, bitter, close-minded and completly ignorant people can be isn't it?

If it stands still we'll fry it!

2004-10-13T10:58:00.000-05:00

I finally went to the State Fair last weekend. It was Sunday afternoon and as an afterthought my parents called to tell me that they were driving by my building on the way to the fair. So after I got off work Ally and I scrambled around and met them out there. After driving a complete circle around fair park looking for a lot that wasn't "full", we ended up parking across the street in a muddy field for $7 bucks. As we waited for generic-married-couple-with-huge-stroller-and-way-too-many-baby-accessories to load up their car and pull out of our parking space we heard an interesting story from the parking attendant/owner of field about how the fair helps them put their kids through college. So I was happy to know my parking fee was funding the education of inner-city youngsters...or a Fendi purse (hey, she could have been lying).

The weather wasn't the best and it drizzled on us for a good part of the day, but I think that helped to keep the crowd down. We met my family right in front of Big Tex and that's when I whipped out the digital to take a picture and realized MY BATTERY WAS DEAD! DOH! Yes, I'm retarded. The best part about it was...it was so dead it wouldn't even close the zoom lens and therefore would not fit back in my camera case! This was a great lesson in charging the camera before important events.

The first thing my family wanted to do after Ally and I arrived was go to the Food Court. Considering Ally and I had just eaten before we came, (yes, i know, dumb of us) food was really the last thing on our list of things to do. We enter this huge building full of food vendors and the smell was completely overwhelming. Glancing around the open space you could see tons of different food choices with one thing in common...FRIED! Yes that's right, here at our state fair if it stands still we will fry it. And if it runs well shoot it, cut it up into small pieces and fry it! There were fried mushrooms, fried oreos, fried alligator, fried corn, fried ice cream, fried nutter butters (huge disappointment btw), fried rattlesnake, fried green tomatoes, fried onion rings, fried pickles, fried cheesecake, fried marshmallows, fried S'Mores Candy Bars, fried Snickers, fried twinkies, fried spicy olive bites, and even...brace yourselves...fried french fries (I know, I couldn't believe it either). You could walk by one of these booths and feel your arteries harden. My weapon of choice was the monkey tail. Now I know what you are thinking so get your mind out of the gutter. The process of making a monkey tail is this...first they peel a banana, then put it on a stick and freeze it. When you order one they will take out the frozen banana and dip it in chocolate. Nuts are optional, but a definite must to complete this tasty, chocolate phallicy.

The "Food and Grains" building was exciting as always. I learned about butter (sadly no butter statues), vegetables, Nolan Ryan meat products, trees, pots and pans, and waaaay more than I ever needed to know about Elsie the cow. The flying cat show was next. This guy was able to train cats to do some pretty amazing things with flaming hoops, balance beams, and some catnip. Maybe Fonty has a future in State Fair entertainment with his talented feline. We walked the midway and paid our two tickets to see a two-headed albino rat snake. I didn't get the full State Fair of Texas feeling until I sat on the tailgate of a demo pickup parked in the picnic area with a Corny Dog in one hand and a Shiner Bock in the other. We watched the laser light show at 8PM then checked out the car building and lusted over the Infiniti and Mercedes models (the cars too).

Ally and I were bound and determined to ride the Texas Star ferris wheel so after my family bailed we made a b-line over to the monstrosity. We counted our remaining tickets and realized we had exactly enough tickets left to ride. Our first ride on the Texas Star was a romantic 10 minutes of listening to a Argentinean guy talk to his friend, who was dressed like a pirate(?), about how this was the largest ferris wheel in the Western hemisphere. The pirate then turned and made out with his ugly girlfriend (wench?). It really wasn't that bad once we tuned them out though. The view was awesome at night. It was a great experience to share with Ally.

By that time is was 10 and we were ready to go home. But not before stopping for another monkey tail(which I got for free since she had dropped that one on the ground...kidding, maybe) and a chocolate nut bar for Ally. Some notable things we missed were the bird show, the world's smallest horse (much to Ally's dismay), the petting zoo (no goats were freed), and the main car building. Other than that, I think we effectively canvassed the area and got our 12 bucks worth. See ya next year State Fair of Texas!

Elevators

2004-10-12T13:11:00.000-05:00

UPDATE:
Well the rest of the story behind the now infamous elevator memo came out. It seems there were more people stuck in the elevators over the weekend. Three(!) people to be exact and for over an hour and a half in at least one of the cases. They ended up wedging a toilet plunger (don't ask me why a toilet plunger was by the elevators) between the doors to allow for a 1 inch crack just wide enough to allow fresh air into the elevator car while they waited for the elevator maintenence monkey to show up. And If that wasn't enough, there was also an incident where the elevator stopped at least a foot above the actual floor and someone stepped out and ate it. Can you say hazardous work environment? Does anyone have OSHA on speed dial?

--------------------------------------------

Below is an actual memo posted on the doors to my floor at work. This is greatness:
Elevators:
All the Elevators have been acting up lately. Make sure to watch your step before entering and exiting. Carry a cell phone with you if you have one and make someone from your team knows where you are going. We do not want anyone stuck in an elevator for a hour or so.

The Management team would rather take extra measures for your safety.

Thanks,
The Management Team.

--------------------------------------------

My inner wise guy writes a response:

Elevators:
All the elevators are indeed dangerous. I know you are posting this because you are trying to protect yourself from another lawsuit. I also know that someone was stuck in the elevator for 2 hours a couple of Saturdays ago. Just an FYI though...there is no signal in the elevators so bringing a cell phone isn't going to help. The recommended and most effective means of communication in the event you find yourself trapped in one of the vertical moving coffins should be pounding on the doors frantically and screaming at the top of your lungs. I would suggest the emergency phone, but since most of the elevators are missing the handle to the emergency box and the door is jammed shut that is not really a viable option. Maybe we should all just take the stairs.

p.s Grammer check anyone?

Thanks,
The Grunts

Dude, Where's My Queso?

2004-10-11T21:25:00.000-05:00

Friday night we decided to head out to Ally's fave Mexican food place, Chuy's. If you are familiar with Chuy's then you know they can get busy...especially on Friday nights. And this was no normal Friday night...this was Texas-OU weekend aka The Red River Shootout. The weekend when every moron comes out of the woodwork with their burnt orange or sooner red gear on and takes Dallas by storm. It's great for the local economy, but that's about it. They screw up traffic, occupy every hotel/motel in the metroplex and over-crowd all restaurants. So we show up at Chuy's and get on the list after being told the wait is only 20-30 minutes. We hit the bar for a Pacifico for me and a Girlyrita for Al. After sitting there for only a few minutes after getting our drinks our flashing/vibrating pager goes off and it's time to be seating. Total waiting time: 10 mins (SWEET!)
and then?
So they walk us out to the Elvis room and sit us at this great two-person booth right by the low wall which faces the street. Although it seemed like we were sitting on the center line of Knox the near misses on the crosswalk and the drunken morons hanging out of cabs yelling made for great entertainment as WE SAT AND WAITED FOR A WAITER FOR 15 MINUTES!! This may have been ok if they would have brought us chips and salsa, but no. The waiter walked around our section no less than 5 times and even made eye contact with Ally! They guy only had 3 tables including us at this point. So I tripped the hostess as she walked by the for the 3rd time. Once she was able to regain composure and pick up all of her menus I inquired about getting a waiter to our table. She said his name was Gary and he would be right with us. Riiiiiiight. So a couple of minutes later, after the hostess had to bring us our chips and salsa, Gary decides to grace us with his presents.
and then?
No "sorry"(acceptable), no "man I am really swamped with tables"(LIE), no "I am just getting used to this wooden leg after the fishing accident"(Arrr matey!)...NOTHING! So the tip meter is hovering around...oh I don't know...ZERO! But we give him a chance to redeem himself and we place our order right away which included a bowl of queso (which Captain Numbnuts suggested) to start off.
and then?
So we wait for our queso, and wait, and wait, then guess what...we waited some more. Meanwhile a group had got up and left next to us, they cleaned the table, sat a couple at it, Gary took their order, and HE BRINGS THEM A BOWL OF QUESO! I would have gotten his attention, but he was too busy flirting with the two tables of Britney Spears lookalikes next to us so needless to say I didn't have the right equipment.
and then?
We left. We stood straight up, I finished my Pacifico and we headed for the door. As we reached the door Gary came up to us and said "hey guys...heh...leave something in the car?" At this point I grabbed him by the shoulders and kicked him square in the junk. Gary hit the floor like a sack of potatoes, writhing around in agony. I threw the duece and we hit the bricks.
and theen?
Ok so it didn't go down exactly like that, but you get the point. I'm pretty sure no one even saw us leave considering they didn't pay attention to us when were sitting there as paying customers!

Moral of the Story: Gary sucks! But we will still go back to Chuy's because the food is awesome!
and theeeeen?
NO and then!

My Friday

2004-10-07T10:29:00.000-05:00

I know it is kind of annoying to hear, but today is my Friday since I work Sun-Thurs. If I can just make it through work and then class tonight I am home free for a hopefully relaxed weekend. Of course, that is easier said than done considering that my last class tonight, Accounting for Managers, is like having your teeth pulled by an epileptic orangutan with a pair of rusty, salty pliers.

I notice something interesting this morning during my commute. I didn't have the radio on and I was driving in complete silence to work. I don't have a very long commute and the traffic is not that bad unless I get a late start so my drive averages about 15-20 mins. But I normally have the radio on listening to either a CD or the goofnuts on a morning show who think they are so funny. I am hardly ever in the car without the radio blarring. This sometimes drives Ally nuts. She's a bit of a volume nazi and can't stand the radion any louder than mouse fart level. It's endearing though and it rarely causes problems unless she jacks with the volume during my jam!! I always inch the volume back up with the steering wheel controls when shes not looking. Today I drove in silence though. Maybe I was in deep thought or maybe my brain was just off. I noticed it right as I was getting off at my exit. The same exit I considering blowing right by everyday on my way to anywhere but work. Luckily, not much is open at 6AM so I don't have many viable options. I guess I could go cruise around the 24hr WallyWorld like in the old college days, but I don't crave Ramen like I used to.

Photo Op

2004-10-06T11:32:00.000-05:00

I am pretty sure I don't have anything to blog about today, but I thought I might give it a try. You might have noticed that I finally posted a real picture of myself. The funniness wore off the James Brown mugshot long ago, but I have just been too lazy to change it. I'm not actually black or a crackhead or have a bad afro...SURPRISE! I replaced it with one of my favorite pics of myself. It was taken at the now defunct Club Spy that used to be our old stomping ground in Houston. My roommate and I went there almost every weekend and we made friends with the whole operating staff of the club. We thought we were cool because we never waited in line and never paid cover which was 10 bucks, and never paid markat rate on our tab. We were good friends with the bartenders in the VIP room and hardly ever left its safe confines to mingle with the common folk. Spy was also a 23+ club which neither of us were at the time, but it didn't matter. For a couple of years there, we were gods. Everyone knew our names, the bartender knew what I was drinking and knew how to make the drink I invented. We also rubbed shoulders with the likes of professional sports stars and local celebrities about town. One interesting anecdote was when one of the regulars who was a professional polo player offered to have his driver take one of our drunk comrads home in his private limo so we could continue partying the night away. Those were definitely good times. If I could go back and do it again, I would drink less tequila, muster the stones to hit on more girls and I would definitely take a certain someone up on doing donuts in his Ferrari in the middle of downtown after last call.

I also fixed my sidebar and posted a couple of links to my favorite blogs so check them out on the right. --->

Relationships

2004-10-01T23:44:00.000-05:00

I just got back to the hotel from the pre-wedding activities for Ally's sister's wedding and it was a good time. I was able to meet a lot of her family that I had heard a lot about but had never met. Those family members seemed happy to have finally me too I think. The rehearsal dinner was at a mexican place and the food was pretty good. They had a beer tap on almost every table which was the groom's idea and very cool. I realized tonight how much I enjoy being around Ally's family. Especially her parents. They are good-hearted people who are very family-oriented and care deeply for their daughters. I find myself wanting to build strong relationships with them and let them know that I have their and Alison's best interests in mind. After being together for almost 3 years I think it is important for them to feel like my intentions are true and that I am working to build a comfortable and successful life for Ally and I to enjoy. I am so eager to finish school (December!!) so I can get on with my life and career. This will also be the next logical step in our relationship which will allow us to take things to the next level and all those other cliche phrases that couldn't ever capture the true feelings that go along with those progressions. In fact, I am pretty sure there aren't words for the moments when you look at someone and think "I want to spend the rest of my life with her." Just waxing emotional for a bit and attempting to capture some pretty significant moments in a great relationship.

I am the dragon!

2004-09-30T10:16:00.000-05:00

Well I learned something interesting today. I can indeed breathe fire! If any of you are familiar with Trogdor, that was me this morning. It all started with me enjoying my breakfast of Planters Spicy Nuts & Cajun Sticks Trail Mix. I tore into the bag and began pouring the seasoned peanuts, cornnuts, cajun sesame sticks, corn sticks, and red chile crescents down my gullet. I had successfully eaten 2 or 3 mouthfuls when it happened. I was 3/4 of the way through a mouthful and a couple of morsels took a wrong turn at the uvula and headed down the wind pipe. The mix really isn't all that hot, but I think the combination of the spices and morsels in the wind pipe were enough for me to expel a four foot flame and char my keyboard, mouse, monitor, cubicle, and the back of some poor innocent bystanders head. The cough was enough to induce a U-turn for the deviant morsels and in no time they were headed towards the stomach, but I was still aflame! As I grappled for my normally ever-present water bottle I noticed THERE WAS NO WATER BOTTLE. Mr. Peanut looked on with his stupid monocle and smug little grin. Had my water bottle melted? Or did I not bring one today? Oh yeah, I'm out of Ozarka at the house! DOH! It was time for desperate measures. Just then I remember that I had stashed a Dr. Pepper in my desk drawer a couple of days ago. Dear God...reigning lord over beverages and all that is holy, please let it still be there. Milliseconds became whole seconds as I frantically rummaged through my drawer. Then a maroon-silvery glimmer shown from the depths of my drawer. My carbonated, prune-flavored lifeline. After the small fire was out, both in my throat and on my desk, and my eyes had stopped watering, I surveyed the damage. I didn't really like that keyboard and mouse anyway.

Money, Music and Politics

2004-09-29T09:56:00.000-05:00

Another blog I read reported that the new 50 dollar bills were released yesterday. It dawned on me that it has been a long time since I've seen a fiddy dolla bill. Of course, this could be because I never carry cash. You better believe if my bank released a new debit card I would notice though! The debit card has got to be one of the greatest inventions of our time. Cold hard cash is over-rated. Well, unless its in a action movie-style stainless steel suitcase in fat stacks of 100s.

Next, I would like to tear down every artist, musician, and actor on the planet who thinks I care about their political agendas. A perfect example is the Vote for Change Tour. This tour, organized by the MoveOn Political Action Committee, includes the following artists: Pearl Jam, Bruce Springsteen, R.E.M., Dave Matthews Band, Jurassic 5, Dixie Chicks, Death Cab for Cutie, James Taylor, Ben Harper, My Morning Jacket, Jackson Browne, Bonnie Raitt, John Fogerty, Keb' Mo', Bright Eyes, John Mellencamp, Kenny "Babyface" Edmonds, John Prine, and Tracy Chapman. A lot of these artists are just looking for a cause they can jump on and score album sales. These "great leaders" have put their "brilliant minds" together to declare..."Vote for Change is a loose coalition of musicians brought together by a single idea (*cough* liberalism *cough*) — the need to make a change in the direction of our country. We share a belief that this is the most important election of our lifetime. We are fighting for a government that is open, rational, just, and progressive. And we intend to be heard..." Now I know what you are thinking..." But Mike..."that's what freedom of speech is all about." And you wouldn't get any argument from me there. But when I buy a CD from a musician that I've jammed since forever and the lyrics, cover, jacket notes and picture on the CD are all politically motivated I have a problem. And this goes for ALL political agendas, Left, Right, Middle, Communist or otherwise. From a financial standpoint, does it really make sense to possibly alienate half your listening(and buying!) audience? Quit abusing your time in the limelight and go back to doing what you do best which is rocking out and making good music about love, loss, interplanetary travel, etc. If I want politics I will turn on the news. GRRR!!

500!!!

2004-09-28T18:05:00.000-05:00

I am happy to report the blog has now crossed the 500 hit barrier. I would have never thought I would get this kind of traffic! Ally told me she is addicted to checking my blog for updates so that is probably a big source of hits. She is my #1 fan! I've noticed that quite a few hits come from other blog referrals and most of that is probably due to the Next Blog button up top. This is a pretty cool feature if you haven't checked it out yet. Regardless of where the hits come from I appreciate them all and I hope you guys keep coming back!

Sunday Cruddy Sunday

2004-09-26T11:00:00.000-05:00

Sunday morning officially marks the end of my weekend. Working on Sunday sucks on so many levels. I keep telling myself its only till December when I graduate and I am off to greener pastures(well that is the plan anyway). I swapped emails with someone in the graduation office this last weekend and receieved type confirmation that the classes I am currently enrolled in will complete my degree requirements. Do you know how long I have been waiting to hear that? Well some of you do I'm sure, but then tack on the time for a couple of victory laps and you will really know how I feel. There were ups and there were downs, but thank the Lord it's almost over. This finally push will not be a cake walk though. So everyone whisper a little prayer for me to hang on to at least some of my sanity.

Surfing the State Fair website has destroyed any doubts I had about making a trip to the fair this year. They have announced deep-fried Nutter Butters!"State fair, have you been reading my diary?" Is there a better cookie on God's green earth? I submit that there is not! The only way this could get any better is if they were giving them away for free...which I am sure is not the case. DOH! Still not sure exactly when we will goto the fair though. But rest assured, when I go I'll post any notable pictures. Like me holding a 5ft tall dayglo orange teddy bear standing in front of Big Tex after riding everything on the midway with a stomach full of deep-fried goodness. Or the one of me holding a baby goat that I smuggled out of the petting zoo aka goat concentration camp to set free in the goat wilderness. "Run free little goat, I will never forget you."

The Return Volley

2004-09-22T23:27:00.000-05:00

From the overwhelming response I can say that this blog has been a hit and hit a nerve (singular) all at the same time. My Monday post was the focus for most of the feedback I've received. I am specifically referring to the great comments posted by an "Anonymous" blogfan here and here. Others have mentioned that certain things I said could have been construed as bagging on Ally, but since they know me and know my personality they were sure that wasn't the case. For this post, I would like to back up the bus a bit to the Monday post and clarify a couple of things. Now keep in mind, this is not for our "Anonymous" commenter, who should take some of their own advice and "try keeping your mouth shut." This for the friendly masses who thought there was room for misinterpretation. Let's be reasonable here. How many of you out there reading this have heard me say, "Ally is the one", "I am going to marry this one" or "She's the girl for me"? Yeah, I see you nodding your head. LOTS! Then I write a post about MY OWN insecurities of having to grow up/be domesticated/buy housewares and all of the sudden I'm "pathetic, crass, rude, hurtful and totally disrespectful...not cool(this one really hurt)...not macho(again cutting me deep)...selfish...[and] an arrogant jerk."

HOLD THE PHONE. My point is this...and I am sure that other guys will back me up...EVERY guy reaches a point in his life where he realizes that weekends, relationships and LIFE in general change(see paradigm shift). You go from wanting to go out every weekend to being perfectly happy staying home and watching a DVD with you girlfriend. Dont get me wrong, I still want to go out, have drinks and listen to music, but not in the same frequency or capacity that I once did. You realize that other things are important to you like connecting with your girlfriend after a long, stressful week or spending time/developing relationships with each others families.

"I am sure the worst is yet to come. I've seen a few comrades sucked into the bottomless vortex of marriage never to be seen again and it's definitely discouraging. I don't want a marriage that opens up my head like a bear trap and sucks out my soul. I still think there is a better alternative..."

Lets talk about this paragraph for a second. First off, "the worst is yet to come" is referring to the continued process of domestication through materialization. You purchase/acquire 12 place settings of china, 4 knife blocks, salad mixing bowls, gravy boats, and Silverware that you can't use unless its Christmas in the course of getting married. This is all foreign to a bachelor who has survived with a small set of pots and pans, a pizza pan, a couple of spatulas and a hand-me-down set of silverware that was missing half of everything. So lets not try to tie that statement in with the relationship OK? OK! For the record, we were shopping for pillows FOR ME! As for the GENERAL COMMENTARY on the "bottomless vortex", I have seen it too many times to deny its existence and I refuse to discount the strength and power of such an anomaly. I have at least three friends/coworkers that have entered into a marriage only to exist as a shell of their former self. Their interests, hobbies, lifestyles and friends all wiped out in the endeavors. To me this is sad and I don't place blame entirely on the man or the women. I believe it takes two to tango. Marriage does require a lot of change, but to lay waste to the person they were formally is not necessary to facilitate a healthy marriage. So this is where the "I don't want a marriage that opens up my head like a bear trap and sucks out my soul. I still think there is a better alternative . . . " quote comes in. Am I implying that I think getting married to Ally would consist of this sort of soul removal procedure? NO. There is nothing in all the time that we have been dating that would indicate or allude to this sort of marriage for either side. Therein lies the "better alternative." Wow, look at all this coming together so nicely. We have built our relationship on trust, communication and love, and nothing anyone says will change that. The best IS yet to come for Ally and I. I do look forward to that time and that time will be upon us a lot sooner than later.

My parting words for you "Anonymous" commenter are these:
Maybe you should have been a C-BS journalist because you are great at pulling things out of thin air and taking things out of context. You have entertained us all for long enough with you silly comments and overstayed your welcome so go back to your bitter, miserable existence and quit raining on our parade. The only reason your comments will stay up will be to remind us all of the fool you made of yourself in the process of trying to smear me.

Peace...I'm outta here.

It's official...

2004-09-21T11:50:00.000-05:00

...everyone I work with is sick!! TAKE A SICK DAY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!! They have been snorting, sneezing, and coughing for days now with no end in sight. There is nothing like the sound of someone blowing their nose 10 times in a row to ruin any hopes of a nice breakfast at your desk. Appetite = GONE! It makes me want to wear a SARS mask to work. With my MacGuyver-like skills I actually fashioned one out of a coffee filter, some paper clips and a rubberband. This should ward off the office nasties until this plague blows over. I'm telling you now...if anyone coughs up a lung I am totally selling it on eBay.

NEWS ALERT:
Big Tex is back in town and he's looking for you! Word on the street is you were talking smack about his huge wedgie and making fun of him for tucking his dungarees into his size 70(!!) boots. It's only a matter of time before he has his huge horse mosey over and pinch a loaf on your car. Big Tex's girl Lil' Tex is also in town to welcome the troops home so be on the lookout. She should be considered armed and extremely dangerous (with a microphone).

Monday...

2004-09-20T10:44:00.000-05:00

Where for art thou o' lost weekend? I can't believe it's already Monday again. The weekend blazed by. As you get older you realize that weekends aren't the fun playtime days they used to be. All of the sudden, there are things to do, chores to complete, errands to run, people to visit. You find yourself shoppng for pillows and comforters instead of going to the lake or taking a spur-of-the-moment roadtrip. Before you know it, you're spending more time in the bedding department or Crate and Barrel than you ever do in electronics or sporting goods stores...and I'm not even married!! Definitely relating with Edward Norton in Fight Club when he talks about material possesions. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind hitting these places, especially if Ally and I are after something, but it's a scary realization when you start caring about matching kitchen items or when you know what a sconce is. I am sure the worst is yet to come. I've seen a few comrads sucked into the bottomless vortex of marriage never to be seen again and it's definitely discouraging. I don't want a marriage that opens up my head like a bear trap and sucks out my soul. I still think there is a better alternative and I'm given hope by my buddy Jeff's marriage. Balance is key.

Anyway...

The Cowboys get their first win of the season against the Browns yesterday. If you didn't see it you missed one of the ugliest wins I have ever seen the Cowboys pull off. I think some of the key factors of success for this game were:
1) The Cowboys didn't use the punter as the placeholder.
2) Jeff Garcia's Tazmanian devil girlfriend was kept at bay.
3) God is a Cowboys fan.

Parcells said it best: "It's not the kind of game I like to be involved with...but we got away
with it." I just hope we learn from our mistakes and look better next week against Washington for Monday Night Football.

I finally saw The Bourne Identity and Supremacy this past weekened. If you haven't seen them I highly recommend watching them back to back. You will get more out of the plot lines if the details are fresh on your mind. In other entertainment news, congrats to The Amazing Race for pulling down the Best Reality-Competition Emmy two years in a row and skunking Survivor and The Apprentice again!

Have good week!
As always EVERYONE is welcome to post comments.

The first post...

2004-09-18T22:45:00.000-05:00

...in my already infamous blog! Well this has been a long time coming. I've had blog envy for a quite a while now. It was only a matter of time before I broke down and created a blog. I successfully put it off with the "I don't have time" excuse long enough. So here it is! In all its magnificence and beauty. I'm not promising daily or even weekly posts, but the posts should be somewhat interesting.

Feel free to leave comments!