The Return Volley
From the overwhelming response I can say that this blog has been a hit and hit a nerve (singular) all at the same time. My Monday post was the focus for most of the feedback I've received. I am specifically referring to the great comments posted by an "Anonymous" blogfan here and here. Others have mentioned that certain things I said could have been construed as bagging on Ally, but since they know me and know my personality they were sure that wasn't the case. For this post, I would like to back up the bus a bit to the Monday post and clarify a couple of things. Now keep in mind, this is not for our "Anonymous" commenter, who should take some of their own advice and "try keeping your mouth shut." This for the friendly masses who thought there was room for misinterpretation. Let's be reasonable here. How many of you out there reading this have heard me say, "Ally is the one", "I am going to marry this one" or "She's the girl for me"? Yeah, I see you nodding your head. LOTS! Then I write a post about MY OWN insecurities of having to grow up/be domesticated/buy housewares and all of the sudden I'm "pathetic, crass, rude, hurtful and totally disrespectful...not cool(this one really hurt)...not macho(again cutting me deep)...selfish...[and] an arrogant jerk."
HOLD THE PHONE. My point is this...and I am sure that other guys will back me up...EVERY guy reaches a point in his life where he realizes that weekends, relationships and LIFE in general change(see paradigm shift). You go from wanting to go out every weekend to being perfectly happy staying home and watching a DVD with you girlfriend. Dont get me wrong, I still want to go out, have drinks and listen to music, but not in the same frequency or capacity that I once did. You realize that other things are important to you like connecting with your girlfriend after a long, stressful week or spending time/developing relationships with each others families.
"I am sure the worst is yet to come. I've seen a few comrades sucked into the bottomless vortex of marriage never to be seen again and it's definitely discouraging. I don't want a marriage that opens up my head like a bear trap and sucks out my soul. I still think there is a better alternative..."
Lets talk about this paragraph for a second. First off, "the worst is yet to come" is referring to the continued process of domestication through materialization. You purchase/acquire 12 place settings of china, 4 knife blocks, salad mixing bowls, gravy boats, and Silverware that you can't use unless its Christmas in the course of getting married. This is all foreign to a bachelor who has survived with a small set of pots and pans, a pizza pan, a couple of spatulas and a hand-me-down set of silverware that was missing half of everything. So lets not try to tie that statement in with the relationship OK? OK! For the record, we were shopping for pillows FOR ME! As for the GENERAL COMMENTARY on the "bottomless vortex", I have seen it too many times to deny its existence and I refuse to discount the strength and power of such an anomaly. I have at least three friends/coworkers that have entered into a marriage only to exist as a shell of their former self. Their interests, hobbies, lifestyles and friends all wiped out in the endeavors. To me this is sad and I don't place blame entirely on the man or the women. I believe it takes two to tango. Marriage does require a lot of change, but to lay waste to the person they were formally is not necessary to facilitate a healthy marriage. So this is where the "I don't want a marriage that opens up my head like a bear trap and sucks out my soul. I still think there is a better alternative . . . " quote comes in. Am I implying that I think getting married to Ally would consist of this sort of soul removal procedure? NO. There is nothing in all the time that we have been dating that would indicate or allude to this sort of marriage for either side. Therein lies the "better alternative." Wow, look at all this coming together so nicely. We have built our relationship on trust, communication and love, and nothing anyone says will change that. The best IS yet to come for Ally and I. I do look forward to that time and that time will be upon us a lot sooner than later.
My parting words for you "Anonymous" commenter are these:
Maybe you should have been a C-BS journalist because you are great at pulling things out of thin air and taking things out of context. You have entertained us all for long enough with you silly comments and overstayed your welcome so go back to your bitter, miserable existence and quit raining on our parade. The only reason your comments will stay up will be to remind us all of the fool you made of yourself in the process of trying to smear me.
Peace...I'm outta here.
HOLD THE PHONE. My point is this...and I am sure that other guys will back me up...EVERY guy reaches a point in his life where he realizes that weekends, relationships and LIFE in general change(see paradigm shift). You go from wanting to go out every weekend to being perfectly happy staying home and watching a DVD with you girlfriend. Dont get me wrong, I still want to go out, have drinks and listen to music, but not in the same frequency or capacity that I once did. You realize that other things are important to you like connecting with your girlfriend after a long, stressful week or spending time/developing relationships with each others families.
"I am sure the worst is yet to come. I've seen a few comrades sucked into the bottomless vortex of marriage never to be seen again and it's definitely discouraging. I don't want a marriage that opens up my head like a bear trap and sucks out my soul. I still think there is a better alternative..."
Lets talk about this paragraph for a second. First off, "the worst is yet to come" is referring to the continued process of domestication through materialization. You purchase/acquire 12 place settings of china, 4 knife blocks, salad mixing bowls, gravy boats, and Silverware that you can't use unless its Christmas in the course of getting married. This is all foreign to a bachelor who has survived with a small set of pots and pans, a pizza pan, a couple of spatulas and a hand-me-down set of silverware that was missing half of everything. So lets not try to tie that statement in with the relationship OK? OK! For the record, we were shopping for pillows FOR ME! As for the GENERAL COMMENTARY on the "bottomless vortex", I have seen it too many times to deny its existence and I refuse to discount the strength and power of such an anomaly. I have at least three friends/coworkers that have entered into a marriage only to exist as a shell of their former self. Their interests, hobbies, lifestyles and friends all wiped out in the endeavors. To me this is sad and I don't place blame entirely on the man or the women. I believe it takes two to tango. Marriage does require a lot of change, but to lay waste to the person they were formally is not necessary to facilitate a healthy marriage. So this is where the "I don't want a marriage that opens up my head like a bear trap and sucks out my soul. I still think there is a better alternative . . . " quote comes in. Am I implying that I think getting married to Ally would consist of this sort of soul removal procedure? NO. There is nothing in all the time that we have been dating that would indicate or allude to this sort of marriage for either side. Therein lies the "better alternative." Wow, look at all this coming together so nicely. We have built our relationship on trust, communication and love, and nothing anyone says will change that. The best IS yet to come for Ally and I. I do look forward to that time and that time will be upon us a lot sooner than later.
My parting words for you "Anonymous" commenter are these:
Maybe you should have been a C-BS journalist because you are great at pulling things out of thin air and taking things out of context. You have entertained us all for long enough with you silly comments and overstayed your welcome so go back to your bitter, miserable existence and quit raining on our parade. The only reason your comments will stay up will be to remind us all of the fool you made of yourself in the process of trying to smear me.
Peace...I'm outta here.
Mike posted on 9/22/2004 11:27:00 PM
2 comments (show / hide)
2 Comments:
Thu Sep 23, 07:38:00 AM CDT
the reeser sat naked at the computer and typed…
true.
Thu Sep 23, 09:10:00 AM CDT
Fonty sat naked at the computer and typed…
True that. You couldn't have hit the nail on the head any straighter. That is the exact thought process a majority of men go through when deciding to move from bachelorhood to marriage. I believe some women get caught up in this fantasy, i.e. the Bachelor, that love conquers all. A revelation occurs and the man realizes that he could not live without the woman, therefore he most throw the reigns of singledom away and grasp the ball and chain that is marriage.
The real "reality" is that we do fall in love with, in most cases, an incredible woman that we could see ourselves growing old together with (that is only if her mom is hot, because you know what they say about the daughter becoming the mom). However, we enter into marriage, because we are programmed to "turn the corner" from apartments, two-door coupes and center-block coffee tables to wine drinking, children-making, golf playing suburbia.
Facts are facts. . .we become home-owning, career-oriented, soccer/ballet chasing people. Those that deny that are either artistic freaks or ugly-people. Just kidding, although that should stir the pot. Bottomline, we all just grow up. When you grow up you find love and happiness. Most people work to fulfill their happiness. Maybe I should go on Dr. Phil, don't you get the sense I'm talking about myself (sob, sob). . .he he. . .the great Fonty says!
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