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Mike's Blog

To boldly blog what no man has blogged before. Enjoy at your own risk!!

Thursday, September 30, 2004

I am the dragon!

Well I learned something interesting today. I can indeed breathe fire! If any of you are familiar with Trogdor, that was me this morning. It all started with me enjoying my breakfast of Planters Spicy Nuts & Cajun Sticks Trail Mix. I tore into the bag and began pouring the seasoned peanuts, cornnuts, cajun sesame sticks, corn sticks, and red chile crescents down my gullet. I had successfully eaten 2 or 3 mouthfuls when it happened. I was 3/4 of the way through a mouthful and a couple of morsels took a wrong turn at the uvula and headed down the wind pipe. The mix really isn't all that hot, but I think the combination of the spices and morsels in the wind pipe were enough for me to expel a four foot flame and char my keyboard, mouse, monitor, cubicle, and the back of some poor innocent bystanders head. The cough was enough to induce a U-turn for the deviant morsels and in no time they were headed towards the stomach, but I was still aflame! As I grappled for my normally ever-present water bottle I noticed THERE WAS NO WATER BOTTLE. Mr. Peanut looked on with his stupid monocle and smug little grin. Had my water bottle melted? Or did I not bring one today? Oh yeah, I'm out of Ozarka at the house! DOH! It was time for desperate measures. Just then I remember that I had stashed a Dr. Pepper in my desk drawer a couple of days ago. Dear God...reigning lord over beverages and all that is holy, please let it still be there. Milliseconds became whole seconds as I frantically rummaged through my drawer. Then a maroon-silvery glimmer shown from the depths of my drawer. My carbonated, prune-flavored lifeline. After the small fire was out, both in my throat and on my desk, and my eyes had stopped watering, I surveyed the damage. I didn't really like that keyboard and mouse anyway.

5 Comments:

  • Thu Sep 30, 03:18:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Texas Gurl sat naked at the computer and typed…

    what no link for dr. pepper, your life saver? hehe great tale, glad you survived to tell us more stupid stuff you do.

     
  • Thu Sep 30, 04:37:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Mike sat naked at the computer and typed…

    For the record, I updated the post with the link, so are you happy now Texas Gurl with the punk-rock spaniel?

     
  • Thu Sep 30, 06:11:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Texas Gurl sat naked at the computer and typed…

    that's amazing. how'd i get naked? my jammies were on and then instantly-GONE! wow.

     
  • Thu Oct 07, 08:34:00 AM CDT
    Blogger Mike sat naked at the computer and typed…

    UPDATE:I'm taking my life, and subsequently the people lives sitting in close proximity this morning as I attempt to eat another bag of the Devil's own trail mix. This time I have a water bottle close. Please whisper a little prayer for me as you read this.

     
  • Thu Oct 07, 10:29:00 AM CDT
    Blogger Rae sat naked at the computer and typed…

    Out burninating the countryside, eh Mike? Burninating the peasants? (Because that's what our co-workers are, you know: peasants. >:) I'm relieved you survived the peanut debacle. Just stay away from the cashews, dude -- they're bigger.

     

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