Where's My SARS Mask?

Am I the only healthy one in the office today? It seams like everyone has a cough or a hack or the sniffles or a downright nasty nasal explosion. I need to fashion another makeshift SARS mask out of rubberbands, paperclips and coffee filters. My only ailment comes in the way of a killer crick in my neck, but at least it's not contagious! The problem is company policy. Everyone is so scared of calling in sick after the latest round of wrist slaps that they show up with their funk and then give it to everyone else. In the long run, you have more people sick who will eventually stay home, therefore you lose even more productivity! I swear, if someone hacks up a lung I'm selling it on eBay.