Lemon Lime Roulette

I started limiting myself to one soft drink per day and since I normally forget to bring one from home I am forced to buy one out of the machine here at work. We actually have two machines in our break room and they are stocked with crap that no one drinks. I am convinced the vending company comes by our location last and fills our machines with all the beverages that no one is drinking at all the other sites they service. We are chock full of Diet Mug Rootbeer(who drinks diet rootbeer?!), Sprite BERRY (carbonated berry bull semen wha?), and several other nasty selections that you would only see at a church picnic where everyone buys the cheapest thing they can find to bring. The best part about the whole thing is the fact that for months we didn't have REGULAR SPRITE. We had this other malformation mentioned above, but not the normal lemony lime goodness that is plain jane Sprite. I kept putting PostIt notes on the machine pleading for the company to bring us REGULAR SPRITE, but alas nothing...or so I thought! I was in the break room one day shootin the breeze while my lunch heated up in one of our lousy microwaves (dont even get me started on those) and I happened to mention to one of my coworkers that I wished they would put Sprite in our machines. In a smug little tone he said, "Oh you don't know about it. They put Sprite in there like 6 months ago. It's on the Sierra Mist button." This whole time I'd been lusting after a 35 cent lemony limey libation and it was right under my nose. But they refuse to change the button, so it still says Sierra Mist and if you have ever tried it, oh it's nasty. I once mistook it for Sprite at a Taco Bell (back when I was eating fast food) and nearly projectile yacked my Baja Beef Gordita. So I play Russian Roulette every time I go to buy a Sprite.

"Will it be Sierra Mist?"
"I don't know man!"
"You push the button!"
"No way man this soda is for you...I'm not getting involved!"
"I'm scared! Hold me."

Blasted vending machine company! (that shall remain nameless for fear of them taking away my favorite pretzels from the snack machine)

I know I know, this post sucked. But if I reach just one person...It was all worth it.