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Mike's Blog

To boldly blog what no man has blogged before. Enjoy at your own risk!!

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Elevators

UPDATE:
Well the rest of the story behind the now infamous elevator memo came out. It seems there were more people stuck in the elevators over the weekend. Three(!) people to be exact and for over an hour and a half in at least one of the cases. They ended up wedging a toilet plunger (don't ask me why a toilet plunger was by the elevators) between the doors to allow for a 1 inch crack just wide enough to allow fresh air into the elevator car while they waited for the elevator maintenence monkey to show up. And If that wasn't enough, there was also an incident where the elevator stopped at least a foot above the actual floor and someone stepped out and ate it. Can you say hazardous work environment? Does anyone have OSHA on speed dial?

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Below is an actual memo posted on the doors to my floor at work. This is greatness:
Elevators:
All the Elevators have been acting up lately. Make sure to watch your step before entering and exiting. Carry a cell phone with you if you have one and make someone from your team knows where you are going. We do not want anyone stuck in an elevator for a hour or so.

The Management team would rather take extra measures for your safety.

Thanks,
The Management Team.

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My inner wise guy writes a response:

Elevators:
All the elevators are indeed dangerous. I know you are posting this because you are trying to protect yourself from another lawsuit. I also know that someone was stuck in the elevator for 2 hours a couple of Saturdays ago. Just an FYI though...there is no signal in the elevators so bringing a cell phone isn't going to help. The recommended and most effective means of communication in the event you find yourself trapped in one of the vertical moving coffins should be pounding on the doors frantically and screaming at the top of your lungs. I would suggest the emergency phone, but since most of the elevators are missing the handle to the emergency box and the door is jammed shut that is not really a viable option. Maybe we should all just take the stairs.

p.s Grammer check anyone?

Thanks,
The Grunts

3 Comments:

  • Mon Oct 11, 04:09:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Rae sat naked at the computer and typed…

    I think this reception myth is true of all elevators, but that doesn't stop a moronic few in my building from trying to use them anyway. Generally their phones cut out around the 18th floor, so they must wait until the lobby to dial up their friend again and talk about where they're gonna have cocktails, Suzy's awful new haircut or some other banal shit, but not before they yell into their phone, "Can you hear me? Hello?!"

     
  • Wed Oct 13, 07:08:00 AM CDT
    Blogger Mike sat naked at the computer and typed…

    In our elevators, as soon as the door closes your signal is gone! It's always good for a laugh when someone talks on and on and on and then pauses for a response from the person on the other end only to hear silence when actually their signal dropped 4 floors ago.

     
  • Wed Oct 13, 08:24:00 AM CDT
    Blogger Don Kersting sat naked at the computer and typed…

    Nice Blog, Mike!

     

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