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Mike's Blog

To boldly blog what no man has blogged before. Enjoy at your own risk!!

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Sense of Smell

It's funny the way our brains work. Especially when it comes to our senses. I opened the door to my building yesterday coming into work and I'm dropkicked by this foul smell. It smelled like a sumo wrestler had taken a dump on a burning tire! I could hardly breathe without gagging and I swear my eyes started watering. I made my way through the lobby to the elevator bank with my sleeve over my mouth and nose trying to only smell my Downy freshness, but the smell of poo permeated. Automatically I'm thinking, "Today is going to be a shiddy day! Somehow this smell is alerting me of the day to come." Finally one of the elevators of death showed up after me punching the button like a madman (which doesn't help at all, but we all do it). As I stepped in the elevator I saw one of the maintenance guys for our building rounding the corner towards the elevator bank literally dripping wet and carrying a plunger. This sad fellow must have been very close to the epicenter. Several horrific images of exploding toilets flashed through my head and I realized the likelihood of my day being as bad as this guy's day had already been was very slim. I thought to myself, "wherever he is going, I hope he washed his hands and he is not getting in this elevator car with me."

Luckily the stench didn't make it up to the 4th floor and when I left that day the smell was gone. I can only assume that something happened in the lobby restroom which unfortunately for the maintenance guys is common. The couple of years I have worked in this building they have had several incidents where the homeless population that lives under the bridge and by the drainage ditch have weaseled their way into the restroom and taken baths in the sink, dumps on the floor and other disgusting bathroom anomalies. The interesting thing is they have a keypad on the door to the restroom for this very reason, so short of following someone in or knowing the code I don't understand how they do it. They must have a guy on the inside.

7 Comments:

  • Thu Oct 21, 08:29:00 AM CDT
    Blogger Fonty sat naked at the computer and typed…

    Conspiracy theorists unite! They MUST have a guy on the inside. . .I love it!

     
  • Thu Oct 21, 06:38:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Rae sat naked at the computer and typed…

    OK, so there's this midget-like, trollish, mole-ridden girl on my floor. She sits not too far away from my office. On more than one occasion, I've walked by her cube and seen her itching herself with this backscratcher because her arms are too short to reach down her back. (I know, I'm going to hell.)

    Anyway, she stinks up the bathroom every morning promptly at 10 a.m. I've been in there, and there's no courtesy flush from the next stall or anything -- just a lot of low grunting and an eventual flush. Oh, and a whole lotta stench.

    I thought that little visual might amuse you on this fine Thursday. :)

     
  • Thu Oct 21, 11:52:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Mike sat naked at the computer and typed…

    That reminds me of the time I was dropping the boys off at the pool at work and the guy in the stall next to me fires up the cell phone and starts sweet talking the girlfriend. I made sure there was a lot of grunting and flushing in the background just in case she wasn't aware that he chats with her while he's droppin' gator bait.

     
  • Fri Oct 22, 09:52:00 AM CDT
    Blogger Don Kersting sat naked at the computer and typed…

    Anytime you can find a way to mix in homeless and their poo in a blog post, well, it's plain genius.

     
  • Mon Oct 25, 05:31:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Rae sat naked at the computer and typed…

    Update: Someone -- not me, I swear! -- left a can of Oust in the company bathroom the very same day I posted about the troll. Perhaps her elfin powers include mind-reading ...

     
  • Mon Oct 25, 05:31:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Rae sat naked at the computer and typed…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     
  • Mon Oct 25, 05:31:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Rae sat naked at the computer and typed…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

     

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