----------------------------------------------- */

Mike's Blog

To boldly blog what no man has blogged before. Enjoy at your own risk!!

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Week=Over? Almost!

This week has taken forever! It took every ounce of energy to drag myself out of bed this morning. Alarm goes off at 5am and I'm looking for something to throw at it. Uh yeah...could I go ahead and gain that extra hour NOW?! I thought I was tired when I got off the phone with Ally at 11ish, but then going to bed would require me to get up, go downstairs, get in bed...too much work. Plus I realized that I forgot to cue up my shows to download so I HAD TO DO THAT! If you aren't into TiVo or Bit Torrents I highly recommend checking them out, especially if you have a busy schedule like I like to pretend I have...ha! Speaking of TV, are you guys watching LOST? If not please commence beating yourself over the head with a large brick or ring your call button and Tommy will come back there and hit you over the head with a tack hammer because you are a retard. Seriously though, its a great show! I thought about doing a weekly recap for it, but I think I am going to save all that energy for when The Amazing Race 6 starts back up on November 16. I can't believe another season is already starting for TAR, but I am definitely not complaining! Looking through the teams, it doesn't look like there is a midget this time around, but the team of married pro wrestlers should be equally entertaining. "Bolo describes his wife as a mix between Jennifer Aniston and professional wrestler Chyna." I can't wait!


  • Thu Oct 28, 03:53:00 PM CDT
    Blogger the reeser sat naked at the computer and typed…

    oh yeah, the fall back part of daylight saving time. you know, they should really have the spring forward fall on a saturday morning, and the fall back on a monday morning. that would be a much better system. distribute the changes on days that they minimize the negative and maximize the positive. why don't they consult me on these matters?

  • Fri Oct 29, 07:57:00 AM CDT
    Blogger Fonty sat naked at the computer and typed…

    Ahhh, TAR, back again, but without Fonty and his mother-in-law! Lost is an amazing show, but tell me what happened on WED. I will watch tonight!

  • Fri Oct 29, 10:35:00 AM CDT
    Blogger theghosher sat naked at the computer and typed…


    Totally thought about doing a recap of Lost too! My wife and I are addicted to it. We're just as addicted to Amazing Race too. Can't wait for that to start up again.. although, it is starting a little too close to the end of the last one.. I don't want to get burned out by it ala Real World. Can't keep up with that show anymore. I do like the Real World/Road Rules Challenge though. I'm having a hard time getting used to the idea of losing an hour/ganing an hour... Hawaii and Arizona never participated in that... could be interesting.. although driving to work in the dark and getting home when it's dark is just planin wrong!


Post a Comment

The Simpson Saga

I promised myself that I wouldn't jump on the bandwagon and blog about it, but I am not so good at keeping promises with myself lately so whateva! Besides, if Zach can blog about it then I can! If you don't know what Simpson Saga I'm referring to then go back under your rock, we have it under control out here. I will keep it short and not sweet.

I liked Ashlee better when her hair was blonde, she wore normal clothes, she didn't do live gigs, and the only time we saw her was short clips on Nick and Jessica. Yeah I watched the show. How else am I going to figure out the blueprint for being a ripped , mack-daddy, married to a hot blonde who unfortunately ends up being REALLY stupid but fortunately carries our careers, and does nothing else but play golf and video games with his brother? So back to Acid Reflux Ashlee. Good thing they actually did an episode on her show about her having acid reflux or this could have been 10x worse. NEWS FLASH Ashlee, they are already looking for your replacement. So take this opportunity to slip into obscurity for a couple of months and reinvent yourself. When you come back I would drop the double "e" for a "y" since that's going to look pretty stupid when you are 30+. Just be true to who you really are...the cute little blonde-headed step daughter of the Simpson Gravy Train...

...who needs a spanking

...from me.


  • Thu Oct 28, 03:47:00 PM CDT
    Blogger the reeser sat naked at the computer and typed…

    acid reflux... i can't even comment on that.

  • Fri Oct 29, 01:40:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Alisa sat naked at the computer and typed…

    You are so spot on with the "ee" and "y" thing. Bad enough that she got stuck with the Simpson sisters' original nose... and again, she wouldn't be in this mess if tweens didn't rule America. Twelve-year-olds are making many more decisions than they own up to. How else do you explain the Hilary Duff movie and the O.C.?

  • Thu Dec 01, 02:12:00 AM CST
    Blogger Jessica Nick Simpson sat naked at the computer and typed…

    Blogger, Been looking on the web for the latest information on jessica poster simpson - saw your site clicked on it.Found The Simpson Saga, maybe not a perfect match - but found it interesting anyway.. off to look for jessica poster simpson..


Post a Comment

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

I'm Back...

...well actually I never left. The training was cancelled which was DEFINITELY a good thing. So I am here in looking out my 4th story window at this wacky weather. The alternating between rain/sunshine is annoying and there is no sign of it letting up according to weather.com. I guess it could be worse...I could live in Seattle. I am ready for the cold, BRING ON THE COLDNESS!! But not like Rob's cold, just some leather jacket weather. Not that we would have any hope of snow on the ground this early, if at all. It will be another month before there is any real hope for busting out with jackets.


Post a Comment

Monday, October 25, 2004

Back to the Grind

It's Monday again people...in case any of you just woke up from your weekend blur. I am making sure to blog today sinceI will be out of the office for training the next two days. I can't decide which is more exciting. Being in the office with the same ole shiz or in a boring training room across town. I vote for the change in scenery I guess. At least I'll get to sleep later.

Weekend highlights include:
-Trulucks Friday night feast
-Lots of sleep
-Laundry finished
-Chipotle surprise via Ally ("Foil Shizzle")
-Lazy Sunday afternoon

Weekend lowlights include:
-Yard Work
-Saturday without Ally which led to...
-A family joke that goes too far, intestinal discomfort ensues (See Pancho's)
-The Cowboys tip-toe through the tulips and get their stems cut off.

Sadly (for some), no one has been trapped in the elevators as of late so no good Monday morning story-weaving about harrowing toilet plunger rescues.


  • Mon Oct 25, 02:25:00 PM CDT
    Blogger the reeser sat naked at the computer and typed…

    aw, man.. say it aint so. pancho's mexican buffet, olay! well, at least you got to raise the flag on occasion. i miss the mexican food in texas, but not a day goes by that where i miss pancho's. just the thought of that place (especially the one down by academy) gives me intestinal discomfort.

  • Wed Oct 27, 01:21:00 AM CDT
    Blogger Texas Gurl sat naked at the computer and typed…

    another weekend loaded with mexican food! goodness, mike, branch out...try a little italian or something. anything's gotta be better than poncho's! although they do have good sopapias or however you spell it. yummy, with some honey..and somebody funny...and a bunny....ok, ok.

  • Wed Oct 27, 08:19:00 AM CDT
    Blogger Mike sat naked at the computer and typed…

    The only thing worse than the Pancho's by Academy was the superghetto Pancho's by Alameda that my parents liked to drag us to. Oh the torture!

    As for you Texas Gurl...Truluck's in some of the best SEAFOOD in Dallas so poo on your theory. And for the record it's Sopaipillas.


Post a Comment

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Sense of Smell

It's funny the way our brains work. Especially when it comes to our senses. I opened the door to my building yesterday coming into work and I'm dropkicked by this foul smell. It smelled like a sumo wrestler had taken a dump on a burning tire! I could hardly breathe without gagging and I swear my eyes started watering. I made my way through the lobby to the elevator bank with my sleeve over my mouth and nose trying to only smell my Downy freshness, but the smell of poo permeated. Automatically I'm thinking, "Today is going to be a shiddy day! Somehow this smell is alerting me of the day to come." Finally one of the elevators of death showed up after me punching the button like a madman (which doesn't help at all, but we all do it). As I stepped in the elevator I saw one of the maintenance guys for our building rounding the corner towards the elevator bank literally dripping wet and carrying a plunger. This sad fellow must have been very close to the epicenter. Several horrific images of exploding toilets flashed through my head and I realized the likelihood of my day being as bad as this guy's day had already been was very slim. I thought to myself, "wherever he is going, I hope he washed his hands and he is not getting in this elevator car with me."

Luckily the stench didn't make it up to the 4th floor and when I left that day the smell was gone. I can only assume that something happened in the lobby restroom which unfortunately for the maintenance guys is common. The couple of years I have worked in this building they have had several incidents where the homeless population that lives under the bridge and by the drainage ditch have weaseled their way into the restroom and taken baths in the sink, dumps on the floor and other disgusting bathroom anomalies. The interesting thing is they have a keypad on the door to the restroom for this very reason, so short of following someone in or knowing the code I don't understand how they do it. They must have a guy on the inside.


  • Thu Oct 21, 08:29:00 AM CDT
    Blogger Fonty sat naked at the computer and typed…

    Conspiracy theorists unite! They MUST have a guy on the inside. . .I love it!

  • Thu Oct 21, 06:38:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Rae sat naked at the computer and typed…

    OK, so there's this midget-like, trollish, mole-ridden girl on my floor. She sits not too far away from my office. On more than one occasion, I've walked by her cube and seen her itching herself with this backscratcher because her arms are too short to reach down her back. (I know, I'm going to hell.)

    Anyway, she stinks up the bathroom every morning promptly at 10 a.m. I've been in there, and there's no courtesy flush from the next stall or anything -- just a lot of low grunting and an eventual flush. Oh, and a whole lotta stench.

    I thought that little visual might amuse you on this fine Thursday. :)

  • Thu Oct 21, 11:52:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Mike sat naked at the computer and typed…

    That reminds me of the time I was dropping the boys off at the pool at work and the guy in the stall next to me fires up the cell phone and starts sweet talking the girlfriend. I made sure there was a lot of grunting and flushing in the background just in case she wasn't aware that he chats with her while he's droppin' gator bait.

  • Fri Oct 22, 09:52:00 AM CDT
    Blogger Don Kersting sat naked at the computer and typed…

    Anytime you can find a way to mix in homeless and their poo in a blog post, well, it's plain genius.

  • Mon Oct 25, 05:31:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Rae sat naked at the computer and typed…

    Update: Someone -- not me, I swear! -- left a can of Oust in the company bathroom the very same day I posted about the troll. Perhaps her elfin powers include mind-reading ...

  • Mon Oct 25, 05:31:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Rae sat naked at the computer and typed…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • Mon Oct 25, 05:31:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Rae sat naked at the computer and typed…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.


Post a Comment

Monday, October 18, 2004

Insert Clever Title Here

This past weekend was a good balance of activity and relaxation. Ally and I laid low Friday night with a Lover's Pizza and a DVD. We watched Club Dread which was good for a couple of laughs, but overall pretty lame. Super Troopers is definitely the better Broken Lizard movie. Brittany Daniel was there to make sure it wasn't a complete waste of time though.

Saturday we hit Burger House for a scrumptous lunch before taking Northpark by storm. The mission...weekend shoes and cute, expensive jeans! Al struck out on the shoes, but the jeans hunt was a total success! As she modeled them for me, the slightly light-in-the-loafers sales guy wanted to know what her husband thought. I looked around, but appearently he had stayed home. HA! So she bought the jeans and we booked it outta there before her husband caught us together. I got a shirt at Gap...just in case anyone cares. We shopped till we dropped...literally. We got home from the mall and collapsed. After a 2 hour coma we arose to the sound of my cell phone. It was my long, lost brother inviting us to dinner at the Iron Cactus downtown. We gladly obliged and headed that way. The food was pretty mediocre, the drinks were good, and the company was great. After dinner we strolled up to the 3rd floor outdoor bar for more drinks. The weather was perfect and there was definitely an interesting crowd which made for good people watching. Overall, I would recommend the Iron Cactus, not for the food but for the atmosphere. Ally's ameretto sours kicked in as we left and she giggled the whole way home in the car. She's so cute when she's toasted (especially in her new jeans...mmm mmm good).

Sunday was a typical Sunday. Went to work, went home, watched the Cowboys blow a game they should have won...you know, the usual. Al came over later and showed me all the new stuff she had bought on shopping trip number 2 with her newly-married sister. We played with the puppies and then made a late night trip to Club Bell for some tacos, nachos, enchiritos and other tasty bastardizations of authentic mexican food. That was pretty much the end of the weekend.


  • Tue Oct 19, 01:08:00 AM CDT
    Blogger Texas Gurl sat naked at the computer and typed…

    yeah, what was up with the cowboys? it would have been so great if they would have caught that last pass into the infield...but they didn't...and we lost. iron cactus sounds like fun. the link's messed up or something. fix it, so i can round up some people and head there this weekend for a bite and ameretto sour (with an extra cherry) of my own.

  • Tue Oct 19, 08:38:00 AM CDT
    Blogger Mike sat naked at the computer and typed…

    The first link always worked, but I fixed the second link for you.


  • Tue Oct 19, 10:20:00 AM CDT
    Blogger Nburritotown sat naked at the computer and typed…

    Hey Mike, what kind of dogs are those? Jared and I want one!

  • Tue Oct 19, 01:01:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Texas Gurl sat naked at the computer and typed…

    duh, i meant end zone, not infield (a girlie slip). btw, do you and ally eat anything besides mexican? ;) i notice ever now and then you throw in a burger joint or something to prove you're caucasian, but mostly it's tacos and enchiladas, salsa and chips. i think it may have something to do with us being texans (virtually mexicans) with so many great mexican food places everywhere. anyway, i'm the exact same way. god bless tex mex.

  • Tue Oct 19, 03:57:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Mike sat naked at the computer and typed…

    Nburritotown(nice nick btw) - They are a cross between a yorkie momma and a chihuahua daddy. They are the sweetest, cutest little critters you ever did see.

    Texas Gurl - Yeah I noticed the gurlie slip, but I was a nice guy and didn't say anything. :) And yes we do eat other things besides Mexican! I did mentioned we ate PIZZA! I would like to say, however, that I am as far from being Mexican as white boys come. God bless Tex-Mex food though.

  • Wed Oct 20, 12:45:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Nburritotown sat naked at the computer and typed…

    You like? It took me a while, but it definitely fits with my new home. BTW, our store idea: Tacos, Lawns, Gynecology y Mas is going to kick ass.


Post a Comment

Faster = Better

I kept noticing that images were taking forever to load during peak times when I loaded my blog and other blogs using the templates provided by Blogger.com. So in an attempt to remedy this situation I offloaded all the images it pulls from the www.blogblog.com site. If anyone else is having this problem shoot me an email and I will show you how to do it. It's a little tricky and requires a small work-around and web space, but not brain surgery.

In case you are wondering...yeah...I'm really busy at work today. :)


Post a Comment

Thursday, October 14, 2004

The Bubble Bursts

So I follow a link off a friends blog to another blog and I end up reading it every once in a while. They post a quote that I find interesting in their blog so I look up a quote that relates and post it in the comments. That's when the fun begins. Keep in mind I have never met this girl, talked to her, chatted with her, sent smoke signals, communicated via carrier pigeon...NOTHING.
Wednesday, October 13

Aristotle says ...
All men, or most men, wish what is noble but choose what is profitable; and while it is noble to render a service not with an eye to receiving one in return, it is profitable to receive one. One ought, therefore, if one can, to return the equivalent of services received, and to do so willingly.
posted by theGirl at 4:34 AM

Mike said...
Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile. -Albert Einstein
6:55 AM

theGirl said...
Nice. Bit too utopian and self-sacrificing for my taste though. Anything that puts me in a situation where I can run the risk to be Christ-like must be discarded as sentimentalist. I'm an egotist you see.
10:22 AM

theGirl said...
I like the quote, it's very idealistic. The implications however frighten me out of my wits. Others aren't always worth living for, denying it would be unreal.
10:23 AM

Mike said...
By definition I am neither a sentimentalist nor an egotist. I fall somewhere in between most of the time. But if you are an egotist then your interpretation could allow you to determine who the "others" are. I would agree that the quote is very idealistic, but I think we should all go out of our way once in a while to help out others and not just when we can profit from it. I hate to think what our world would be like if no one did.
10:09 AM

theGirl said...
People like you always strike me as preachers more than doers, no offense. No one who is so keen of proving their virtue and that of the world ever actually have any. On the other hand, I've met Christ-like people. They're never procupied with making statements, but with actually helping people.
2:25 PM

Mike said...
I hate to burst your bubble Kiki, but you don't know me. I think it would be respectful for everyone involved to get to know me before making conclusions about the kind of person I am or making comments like "People like you." No offense taken by the way.
4:28 PM

theGirl said...
Look dude, you didn't burst my bubble, you don't have what it takes. I can safely make the conclusion that you're a wanker. Don't preach to me about being respectful, if you don't like what I say then don't read my blog.
4:39 PM

Mike said...
Wow...I didn't think you would resort to name calling. You obviously can't handle opinions that differ from yours. It's very sad because when I posted my original comments on your site I thought that it might spur on some intelligent blog dialog, but that didn't happen. Instead you berate my comments, criticize my beliefs and call me names. I can safely make the conclusion that your maturity level makes you not worth my time.
6:29 PM

theGirl said...
You didn't think I would resort to name calling? Call the Waaambulance. You obviously thought wrong didn't cha? I must clarify, our beliefs and opinion conflicts have nothing to do with me calling you names, I honestly think you are a wanker. I don't condem nor share your beliefs. I think you are a hypocrit, a preacher and not a doer. I profoundly dislike you. I don't think you are sincere. If you were sincere your ideas would be best served put to action, rather than in trying to convince me of your integrity and good nature. You might think me rude, in truth I just don't sugar coat my opinions. My maturity level has been known to prevent me from a great many good things. Missing out on anything that might come from you doesn't seem to make the list of "good" things I've missed out on.
6:55 PM

So there you have it. It's scary how immature, bitter, close-minded and completly ignorant people can be isn't it?


  • Fri Oct 15, 01:44:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Don Kersting sat naked at the computer and typed…

    Call the "Waaambulance"? Good lord. I bet she is one of those feminist-types who love to men bash.

    Yuk. Vomit.

  • Sat Oct 16, 02:54:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Miss Crafty Pants sat naked at the computer and typed…

    No I'm not one of "those" feminist who love to men bash. I'm one of those "people" who love to stupid-men bash.

    I am immature or I wouldn't have replied to your comments at all.

    I'm not bitter.

    If not agreeing with your sorry-redneck-ass is close-minded then I am.

    I might be ignorant but it may be remedied, while you're ugly now and forever will be.

    You're right, people can be pretty scary.

  • Sun Oct 17, 06:47:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Mike sat naked at the computer and typed…

    Aww...she reads my blog. How flattering?

    She reminds me of Kerry. The more she talks, the more she sounds like she's just making crap up on the fly.

    Run on home little girl...you've overstayed your welcome here.


Post a Comment

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

If it stands still we'll fry it!

I finally went to the State Fair last weekend. It was Sunday afternoon and as an afterthought my parents called to tell me that they were driving by my building on the way to the fair. So after I got off work Ally and I scrambled around and met them out there. After driving a complete circle around fair park looking for a lot that wasn't "full", we ended up parking across the street in a muddy field for $7 bucks. As we waited for generic-married-couple-with-huge-stroller-and-way-too-many-baby-accessories to load up their car and pull out of our parking space we heard an interesting story from the parking attendant/owner of field about how the fair helps them put their kids through college. So I was happy to know my parking fee was funding the education of inner-city youngsters...or a Fendi purse (hey, she could have been lying).

The weather wasn't the best and it drizzled on us for a good part of the day, but I think that helped to keep the crowd down. We met my family right in front of Big Tex and that's when I whipped out the digital to take a picture and realized MY BATTERY WAS DEAD! DOH! Yes, I'm retarded. The best part about it was...it was so dead it wouldn't even close the zoom lens and therefore would not fit back in my camera case! This was a great lesson in charging the camera before important events.

The first thing my family wanted to do after Ally and I arrived was go to the Food Court. Considering Ally and I had just eaten before we came, (yes, i know, dumb of us) food was really the last thing on our list of things to do. We enter this huge building full of food vendors and the smell was completely overwhelming. Glancing around the open space you could see tons of different food choices with one thing in common...FRIED! Yes that's right, here at our state fair if it stands still we will fry it. And if it runs well shoot it, cut it up into small pieces and fry it! There were fried mushrooms, fried oreos, fried alligator, fried corn, fried ice cream, fried nutter butters (huge disappointment btw), fried rattlesnake, fried green tomatoes, fried onion rings, fried pickles, fried cheesecake, fried marshmallows, fried S'Mores Candy Bars, fried Snickers, fried twinkies, fried spicy olive bites, and even...brace yourselves...fried french fries (I know, I couldn't believe it either). You could walk by one of these booths and feel your arteries harden. My weapon of choice was the monkey tail. Now I know what you are thinking so get your mind out of the gutter. The process of making a monkey tail is this...first they peel a banana, then put it on a stick and freeze it. When you order one they will take out the frozen banana and dip it in chocolate. Nuts are optional, but a definite must to complete this tasty, chocolate phallicy.

The "Food and Grains" building was exciting as always. I learned about butter (sadly no butter statues), vegetables, Nolan Ryan meat products, trees, pots and pans, and waaaay more than I ever needed to know about Elsie the cow. The flying cat show was next. This guy was able to train cats to do some pretty amazing things with flaming hoops, balance beams, and some catnip. Maybe Fonty has a future in State Fair entertainment with his talented feline. We walked the midway and paid our two tickets to see a two-headed albino rat snake. I didn't get the full State Fair of Texas feeling until I sat on the tailgate of a demo pickup parked in the picnic area with a Corny Dog in one hand and a Shiner Bock in the other. We watched the laser light show at 8PM then checked out the car building and lusted over the Infiniti and Mercedes models (the cars too).

Ally and I were bound and determined to ride the Texas Star ferris wheel so after my family bailed we made a b-line over to the monstrosity. We counted our remaining tickets and realized we had exactly enough tickets left to ride. Our first ride on the Texas Star was a romantic 10 minutes of listening to a Argentinean guy talk to his friend, who was dressed like a pirate(?), about how this was the largest ferris wheel in the Western hemisphere. The pirate then turned and made out with his ugly girlfriend (wench?). It really wasn't that bad once we tuned them out though. The view was awesome at night. It was a great experience to share with Ally.

By that time is was 10 and we were ready to go home. But not before stopping for another monkey tail(which I got for free since she had dropped that one on the ground...kidding, maybe) and a chocolate nut bar for Ally. Some notable things we missed were the bird show, the world's smallest horse (much to Ally's dismay), the petting zoo (no goats were freed), and the main car building. Other than that, I think we effectively canvassed the area and got our 12 bucks worth. See ya next year State Fair of Texas!


  • Wed Oct 13, 10:32:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Ally sat naked at the computer and typed…

    I'm still disappointed that we didn't get to see the world's smallest horse and the butter statue...I mean why do you think I agreed to tag along?? Ah...the ferris wheel with strangers - what a funny experience that was!

  • Thu Oct 14, 02:26:00 AM CDT
    Blogger Texas Gurl sat naked at the computer and typed…

    yay, alison is online too. now she just needs to create her own blog so we know what actually happens on you guys' excursions.
    haven't been to the fair since i was little. but all that fried food and tiny horse talk may just lure me there this year.
    proud of you for knowing what a fendi is. and diesels. and the sconces...

  • Thu Oct 14, 07:45:00 AM CDT
    Blogger Mike sat naked at the computer and typed…

    Well there is always this weekend Ally. We could go back and scour the fair grounds for the elusive butter statue and tiny pony. I guess my great company wasn't enough huh?

    It is good to have Ally on here finally. And are you trying to imply that I would somehow distort or report untruths about our excursions Texas Gurl?! I take offense. I report only the facts(as I interpret them) here. :)

    Thanks for the props on Fendi, diesels, and sconces...
    I'm with it, I'm hip, tuka-tuka-tuka...

  • Thu Oct 14, 12:17:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Rae sat naked at the computer and typed…

    Aw God, the County Fair. That is so my territory, you have no idea. I think you've inspired my next blog, actually.

    BTW, I bought one of those Monkey Tails in Jerome once, but it was way too phallic and I kept getting weird looks (or maybe I just imagined them), so I had to throw it away. I applaud the security you apparently have in your masculinity. :)


Post a Comment

Tuesday, October 12, 2004


Well the rest of the story behind the now infamous elevator memo came out. It seems there were more people stuck in the elevators over the weekend. Three(!) people to be exact and for over an hour and a half in at least one of the cases. They ended up wedging a toilet plunger (don't ask me why a toilet plunger was by the elevators) between the doors to allow for a 1 inch crack just wide enough to allow fresh air into the elevator car while they waited for the elevator maintenence monkey to show up. And If that wasn't enough, there was also an incident where the elevator stopped at least a foot above the actual floor and someone stepped out and ate it. Can you say hazardous work environment? Does anyone have OSHA on speed dial?


Below is an actual memo posted on the doors to my floor at work. This is greatness:
All the Elevators have been acting up lately. Make sure to watch your step before entering and exiting. Carry a cell phone with you if you have one and make someone from your team knows where you are going. We do not want anyone stuck in an elevator for a hour or so.

The Management team would rather take extra measures for your safety.

The Management Team.


My inner wise guy writes a response:

All the elevators are indeed dangerous. I know you are posting this because you are trying to protect yourself from another lawsuit. I also know that someone was stuck in the elevator for 2 hours a couple of Saturdays ago. Just an FYI though...there is no signal in the elevators so bringing a cell phone isn't going to help. The recommended and most effective means of communication in the event you find yourself trapped in one of the vertical moving coffins should be pounding on the doors frantically and screaming at the top of your lungs. I would suggest the emergency phone, but since most of the elevators are missing the handle to the emergency box and the door is jammed shut that is not really a viable option. Maybe we should all just take the stairs.

p.s Grammer check anyone?

The Grunts


  • Mon Oct 11, 04:09:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Rae sat naked at the computer and typed…

    I think this reception myth is true of all elevators, but that doesn't stop a moronic few in my building from trying to use them anyway. Generally their phones cut out around the 18th floor, so they must wait until the lobby to dial up their friend again and talk about where they're gonna have cocktails, Suzy's awful new haircut or some other banal shit, but not before they yell into their phone, "Can you hear me? Hello?!"

  • Wed Oct 13, 07:08:00 AM CDT
    Blogger Mike sat naked at the computer and typed…

    In our elevators, as soon as the door closes your signal is gone! It's always good for a laugh when someone talks on and on and on and then pauses for a response from the person on the other end only to hear silence when actually their signal dropped 4 floors ago.

  • Wed Oct 13, 08:24:00 AM CDT
    Blogger Don Kersting sat naked at the computer and typed…

    Nice Blog, Mike!


Post a Comment

Monday, October 11, 2004

Dude, Where's My Queso?

Friday night we decided to head out to Ally's fave Mexican food place, Chuy's. If you are familiar with Chuy's then you know they can get busy...especially on Friday nights. And this was no normal Friday night...this was Texas-OU weekend aka The Red River Shootout. The weekend when every moron comes out of the woodwork with their burnt orange or sooner red gear on and takes Dallas by storm. It's great for the local economy, but that's about it. They screw up traffic, occupy every hotel/motel in the metroplex and over-crowd all restaurants. So we show up at Chuy's and get on the list after being told the wait is only 20-30 minutes. We hit the bar for a Pacifico for me and a Girlyrita for Al. After sitting there for only a few minutes after getting our drinks our flashing/vibrating pager goes off and it's time to be seating. Total waiting time: 10 mins (SWEET!)
and then?
So they walk us out to the Elvis room and sit us at this great two-person booth right by the low wall which faces the street. Although it seemed like we were sitting on the center line of Knox the near misses on the crosswalk and the drunken morons hanging out of cabs yelling made for great entertainment as WE SAT AND WAITED FOR A WAITER FOR 15 MINUTES!! This may have been ok if they would have brought us chips and salsa, but no. The waiter walked around our section no less than 5 times and even made eye contact with Ally! They guy only had 3 tables including us at this point. So I tripped the hostess as she walked by the for the 3rd time. Once she was able to regain composure and pick up all of her menus I inquired about getting a waiter to our table. She said his name was Gary and he would be right with us. Riiiiiiight. So a couple of minutes later, after the hostess had to bring us our chips and salsa, Gary decides to grace us with his presents.
and then?
No "sorry"(acceptable), no "man I am really swamped with tables"(LIE), no "I am just getting used to this wooden leg after the fishing accident"(Arrr matey!)...NOTHING! So the tip meter is hovering around...oh I don't know...ZERO! But we give him a chance to redeem himself and we place our order right away which included a bowl of queso (which Captain Numbnuts suggested) to start off.
and then?
So we wait for our queso, and wait, and wait, then guess what...we waited some more. Meanwhile a group had got up and left next to us, they cleaned the table, sat a couple at it, Gary took their order, and HE BRINGS THEM A BOWL OF QUESO! I would have gotten his attention, but he was too busy flirting with the two tables of Britney Spears lookalikes next to us so needless to say I didn't have the right equipment.
and then?
We left. We stood straight up, I finished my Pacifico and we headed for the door. As we reached the door Gary came up to us and said "hey guys...heh...leave something in the car?" At this point I grabbed him by the shoulders and kicked him square in the junk. Gary hit the floor like a sack of potatoes, writhing around in agony. I threw the duece and we hit the bricks.
and theen?
Ok so it didn't go down exactly like that, but you get the point. I'm pretty sure no one even saw us leave considering they didn't pay attention to us when were sitting there as paying customers!

Moral of the Story: Gary sucks! But we will still go back to Chuy's because the food is awesome!
and theeeeen?
NO and then!


  • Mon Oct 11, 11:05:00 AM CDT
    Blogger Fin sat naked at the computer and typed…

    Lol I love your profile... blah blah blah blah.

  • Mon Oct 11, 03:29:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Mike sat naked at the computer and typed…


  • Wed Oct 13, 01:37:00 AM CDT
    Blogger Texas Gurl sat naked at the computer and typed…

    i love chuy's too. tx/ou weekend--i had gone to visit my parents who live on the texas/oklahoma border. i came back to dallas on friday evening and was the only person on I35 southbound with texas plates. every ten miles it seemed like there was a hi-po with an okie pulled over. couldn't help but giggle to myself as i passed each one. hehe.

  • Wed Oct 13, 07:12:00 AM CDT
    Blogger Mike sat naked at the computer and typed…

    Gotta squeeze every last dollar out of those okies while we have them in OUR state!

    Seen on a bumpersticker: Welcome to Texas, NOW GO HOME!


Post a Comment

Thursday, October 07, 2004

My Friday

I know it is kind of annoying to hear, but today is my Friday since I work Sun-Thurs. If I can just make it through work and then class tonight I am home free for a hopefully relaxed weekend. Of course, that is easier said than done considering that my last class tonight, Accounting for Managers, is like having your teeth pulled by an epileptic orangutan with a pair of rusty, salty pliers.

I notice something interesting this morning during my commute. I didn't have the radio on and I was driving in complete silence to work. I don't have a very long commute and the traffic is not that bad unless I get a late start so my drive averages about 15-20 mins. But I normally have the radio on listening to either a CD or the goofnuts on a morning show who think they are so funny. I am hardly ever in the car without the radio blarring. This sometimes drives Ally nuts. She's a bit of a volume nazi and can't stand the radion any louder than mouse fart level. It's endearing though and it rarely causes problems unless she jacks with the volume during my jam!! I always inch the volume back up with the steering wheel controls when shes not looking. Today I drove in silence though. Maybe I was in deep thought or maybe my brain was just off. I noticed it right as I was getting off at my exit. The same exit I considering blowing right by everyday on my way to anywhere but work. Luckily, not much is open at 6AM so I don't have many viable options. I guess I could go cruise around the 24hr WallyWorld like in the old college days, but I don't crave Ramen like I used to.


  • Sat Oct 09, 04:32:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Texas Gurl sat naked at the computer and typed…

    LOVE the deep thoughts!! Maybe she wouldn't mind the music played loudly if it was music she liked...just a guess. i have to crank the volume up to drown out my truly awful singing voice. hehe


Post a Comment

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Photo Op

I am pretty sure I don't have anything to blog about today, but I thought I might give it a try. You might have noticed that I finally posted a real picture of myself. The funniness wore off the James Brown mugshot long ago, but I have just been too lazy to change it. I'm not actually black or a crackhead or have a bad afro...SURPRISE! I replaced it with one of my favorite pics of myself. It was taken at the now defunct Club Spy that used to be our old stomping ground in Houston. My roommate and I went there almost every weekend and we made friends with the whole operating staff of the club. We thought we were cool because we never waited in line and never paid cover which was 10 bucks, and never paid markat rate on our tab. We were good friends with the bartenders in the VIP room and hardly ever left its safe confines to mingle with the common folk. Spy was also a 23+ club which neither of us were at the time, but it didn't matter. For a couple of years there, we were gods. Everyone knew our names, the bartender knew what I was drinking and knew how to make the drink I invented. We also rubbed shoulders with the likes of professional sports stars and local celebrities about town. One interesting anecdote was when one of the regulars who was a professional polo player offered to have his driver take one of our drunk comrads home in his private limo so we could continue partying the night away. Those were definitely good times. If I could go back and do it again, I would drink less tequila, muster the stones to hit on more girls and I would definitely take a certain someone up on doing donuts in his Ferrari in the middle of downtown after last call.

I also fixed my sidebar and posted a couple of links to my favorite blogs so check them out on the right. --->


Post a Comment

Friday, October 01, 2004


I just got back to the hotel from the pre-wedding activities for Ally's sister's wedding and it was a good time. I was able to meet a lot of her family that I had heard a lot about but had never met. Those family members seemed happy to have finally me too I think. The rehearsal dinner was at a mexican place and the food was pretty good. They had a beer tap on almost every table which was the groom's idea and very cool. I realized tonight how much I enjoy being around Ally's family. Especially her parents. They are good-hearted people who are very family-oriented and care deeply for their daughters. I find myself wanting to build strong relationships with them and let them know that I have their and Alison's best interests in mind. After being together for almost 3 years I think it is important for them to feel like my intentions are true and that I am working to build a comfortable and successful life for Ally and I to enjoy. I am so eager to finish school (December!!) so I can get on with my life and career. This will also be the next logical step in our relationship which will allow us to take things to the next level and all those other cliche phrases that couldn't ever capture the true feelings that go along with those progressions. In fact, I am pretty sure there aren't words for the moments when you look at someone and think "I want to spend the rest of my life with her." Just waxing emotional for a bit and attempting to capture some pretty significant moments in a great relationship.


  • Mon Oct 04, 08:10:00 AM CDT
    Blogger Fonty sat naked at the computer and typed…

    Oh, for the love of Queen Mary (the boat that is)! Mike, Mike, Mike. . .we need to talk. What are you writing about? Ally (can I call you that?), if you are reading, understand that this kind of "emotional waxing" is just a bunch of bleeping bleep. You should understand, I mean look at Moria and I. We can't stand each other, but we sure do put on a happy face when around our friends. Also, the whole family-in-law crap, that is shoveling, if you know what I mean. Moria's mom is this fat-arse, negative thinking, communist. Her dad still smokes the funny stuff and her sister is knocked up. Can't stand to be around them. . .no seriously, ya'll are a beautiful couple. I mean if Mike didn't realize what he had soon, I would have had to step in and well, I shouldn't write about that, now should I? But I will sum it up in one word, threesome-baby! Moria keeps telling me I type the quiet things outloud and keep the loud things quiet. Don't know what she means. . .Fonty

  • Mon Oct 04, 08:36:00 PM CDT
    Blogger Mike sat naked at the computer and typed…

    Indeed, the quiet part was typed aloud.

    I hope you are talking about bun and frank and not bookends, cause if you aren't then we got problems. Either way, I'm going to need the cash up front.

  • Tue Oct 05, 02:16:00 PM CDT
    Blogger theghosher sat naked at the computer and typed…


    wow.. our boy's all grown up! It's hard going into the family experience without worrying about how you look to the future in-laws.. Jill and I are finally married and I still feel like I have to prove to them how much I love her and how much I want to protect her.. even if it's from them! It's a fine line man... just do your best...

    Beer tap at every table... heaven.


Post a Comment